


Long time no see

by Lenatoutcourt



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Bottom Ian Gallagher, Bottom Mickey Milkovich, Endgame Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Enemies to Lovers, Gallavich Endgame, Happy Ending, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, Hurt Ian Gallagher, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, I promise I don't hate army, Ian Gallagher Hates Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich Happy Ending, Love/Hate, M/M, Mickey is rich, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rape/Non-con Elements, Revenge, Revenge Sex, Slap Slap Kiss, Smut, Tags May Change, Top Ian Gallagher, Top Mickey Milkovich, Violence, Violent Sex, brutal sex, mickey Milkovich hates ian gallagher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:41:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 36,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22597981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenatoutcourt/pseuds/Lenatoutcourt
Summary: By joining the military under the name of his brother, Ian hoped to be able to forget Mickey, but fate and an FBI agent seem to have other plans for him.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 67
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> be careful, some part of this story may be really violent.  
> The end will be happy, but the path to get there will be brutal at times, even between Ian and Mickey.
> 
> PLEASE READ THE TAGS !
> 
> It's been a long time since I decided to publish an unfinished game, but right now I need the motivation to sit down at my computer and write, and I thought you could help me find this motivation (at least if you like the story).

"You asked to see me, Captain?"

Ian was happy to be able to enjoy some of the coolness the air conditioning provided. He had been outside for hours and the heat was starting to get the better of him. 

For all that, he could scarcely rejoice at having been summoned to his superior's office.

He didn't remember done something bad enough to have an issue with this man, but that wasn't enough reason to be confident.

"Sit down, Gallagher."

Ian felt a little reassured by the Captain's tone. 

Certainly, there was no joy or sympathy in his voice, but to have already heard him angry, it was surely the best he could hope for. 

He obeyed immediately and waited.

"If I asked you to come here it's to send you on a mission. The FBI needs you- "

"But-"

Ian immediately regretted interrupting his supervisor. Although there was no reason for the army to accede to a request from the FBI, he knew perfectly well that he should never have interrupted his leader's explanations.

He just bowed his head in apology and submission and let the man go on.

"We aren't used to working with them. However, it has been brought to my attention that you could be a valuable asset in their mission. "

Ian was struggling to take stock of all the questions that came to his mind, but he knew that it would have been suicidal to interrupt him again.

"They want you to their service for an undefined time and the army decided to accept their request. You leave tonight for their control center where you will be given all the necessary details. "

Understanding that he would get nothing more, Ian got up and greeted his superior before leaving the room with even more questions than when he entered.

He went straight to his quarters and packed his belongings.

"You going somewhere?"

Ian didn't need to turn around to find out who had just entered his room.

He had been dating Tyler for several months now.

Ian saw no need to formalize this relationship and would have largely been content with a booty call, but Tyler didn't want to hide who he was, or with whom he went out to anyone.

"I've a new mission," Ian said simply as he finished preparing his bag.

"For how long?"

"Don't know."

"Where?"

"Don't know."

"There must be something you know," Tyler grumbled, trampling the floor with his feet.

Ian was still struggling to see how a man with such a childlike character could survive in the army. He also sometimes had a hard time understanding why he was still with him.

Going out with Tyler had a very practical side.

He was there next door and available whenever he wanted. Which would have been clearly impossible with a civilian.

Of course, he could have gone out with one of the other guys from the base, it wasn't the potential contenders that was missing, but he would have been forced to start a new relationship from the beginning, something he had no desire for.

He could also have gone out with a civilian, but having no desire to live outside the base, seen very rarely that would certainly complicate their relationship.

"I don't know anything more. The Captain asked me to come to his office earlier and informed me that I was going on a mission. I can't give you more details. "

Even if he had had more, he probably wouldn't have given them to Tyler, but he didn't have to know that.

"If I get angry it's because I'll miss you..."

Tyler had grabbed Ian's shirt collar to force him to look at him. He had a sulky pout, which he probably think very cute, but which on a man like him looked just weird.

"I'm gonna miss you too," Ian promised before kissing him violently.

He knew that if he wanted to avoid problems he had to put an end to this relationship quickly, and that the best way to do it would probably be by far to avoid the repercussions. He knew it wasn't fair for Tyler, but he didn't want for anything in the world to relive a break-up face to face.

He grabbed his bag and swung it on his shoulder before leaving the building with his boyfriend.

The latter was still talking to him, but the only thing Ian thought about had no connection with him or even with the mission.

Ian enlisted in the army after a break-up. 

The army had always been his dream, but he didn't imagine at the time enlisted that way.

He had stolen his older brother's identity to be enlisted and had then made his classes going from promotion to promotion. 

And had finally confessed of his own identity to his superiors who had simply demoted him to the rank of a simple soldier.

Once again his career in the army was in danger when, during medical examinations after a new mission, the base psychologist discovered that he had bipolar disorder.

The laws concerning the enlistment of people with mental health problems had changed the situation and he was not sent home but was unfortunately to him confined to less tactical missions.

After that, he hadn't stopped giving the best of himself to find back the rank he had previously managed to obtain.

He had more than once been noticed by his superiors and congratulated for his actions on mission.

Tyler kept saying that if Ian was such a good soldier and everyone wanted to work with him it was because he was always worried about others, but never about his own safety.

And even though Ian was still struggling to admit it, this description was rather truthful. He had been wounded several times on mission, but he had never been afraid for his own life even when he had passed near death.

Saying goodbye to Tyler was more complicated than expected. Mainly because the latter didn't seem determined to accept the silence of FBI agents came looking for the one he still considered his boyfriend.

Seeing the base move away in the rearview mirror of the car Ian decided to break up with Tyler as soon as he learned enough about his mission and he would be sure not to return to the base right away.

The trip went by without a word, and Ian had plenty of time to imagine all the possible scenarios. 

It was only several hours after departure that doubt began to invade him.

They had just arrived near a town he knew only too well, and in which he had not set foot since his departure for the army.

When the agents who accompanied him got out of the car he decided to imitate them. He followed them inside a building and was surprised at how little interest the people around them had for their small group.

They stopped on the top floor. The premises were supposed to be occupied by a security company, which might explain why everyone in the building seemed to find it normal to see so many of these people in the building.

A secretary hastened to greet them before telling him to wait in the meeting room where he would receive his briefing.

Several files were placed on the table and he fought against the desire to read them. Knowing the FBI's habit could be quite a test and he did not want to fail it. Especially now that he was dying to know why he had been brought back to Chicago.

"Mr. Gallagher?"

"Sergeant First Class Gallagher, sir."

"Here we don't care about grades, Gallagher. The only one that counts is mine. "

Ian exhaled at length trying to chase away his desire to respond to this man. 

He knew that he wanted to establish his authority and that trying to argue with him would be dangerous. Even though the FBI wasn't part of the same branch as the army, they were nonetheless linked.

"If we have brought you here it's because very interesting information has been brought to our attention."

He sat in front of Ian and motioned to the documents, prompting Ian to consult them.

Ian felt his heart stop for a moment as his eyes caught the first picture attached to the file.

He knew that this mission must have something to do with his past to get him to Chicago, but he didn't imagine it could have anything to do with Mickey Milkovich, the man he would have loved never to know.

"I suppose you recognize this man. We were informed that you had a relationship with Mr. Milkovich. "

"It was years ago."

"So I take it for a yes. We need someone to infiltrate his organization- "

"His organization?!?"

Ian hadn't planned to interrupt the man sitting in front of him, but when he heard Mickey's name he couldn't help himself.

"This man is currently at the head of a criminal organization. He has taken control of the city of Chicago and is now trying to expand his traffic all over the state. Until now, we had no information about him. We managed to infiltrate a man in his organization, but he couldn't give us much more information than his name. He doesn't trust anyone and works only with very senior members of his organization. And that's why you come in. "

Ian was silent for a moment, hoping that all this was a nightmare he was going to wake up. Unfortunately for him, it seemed real.

"We know that your story with Mr. Milkovich ended abruptly."

Ian looked up as he heard this man talk so casually about a break that kept him awake years later.

"It seems that since Mr. Milkovich has had no official partner apart from his wife. So we think it would be easy for you to get closer to him using your common past and get information about his organization. "

"I don't know who you got this informations from, but since you seem to believe that something is still possible between me and Mickey is that you are very misinformed."

"Well, in the name of the government, you will make this possible again," the man said, getting up abruptly.

Ian felt the nervousness rising inside him at the thought of getting close to Mickey again.

He knew that getting closer to him would not be easy, whether it was because of their separation and the feelings they certainly had for each other, or even the impact this reunion would have on his mental health.

Ian had managed to take full control of his illness, following the recommendations of his various doctors to the letter. But he knew that with all the medication and therapy in the world, he could barely bear the reunion without suffering the repercussions.

"Sir, I don't think I'm the right person for this mission, my mental health-"

"I know very well what's going on. I read your file. I don't like the idea of the army accepting mentally unstable people like you into its ranks. If one of my men had a mental illness like you, I would have fired him on the spot. But we have no other choice in this mission, and neither do you."

Ian felt the anger rise a little more inside him at the FBI agent's condescending tone.

"My superiors were notified of my condition as soon as I learned of it. I never sought to be treated differently because of my illness and I always made sure it had no impact on my work."

After the discovery of his illness, he was no longer able to take part in undercover missions for fear that the pressure would distort his medication, but this did not prevent him from proving himself in other ways, to the point of making everyone forget his difference. 

"As much as I want to help you. I'm afraid the pressure of this mission will interfere with my treatment."

"Hear me out, Gallagher! You're the only one we can use on this mission and you're gonna do it. I don't want to hear any more of your pathetic excuses."

It was not hard for Ian to understand that the FBI agent would not give in to even his most sensible arguments.

He placed his hand on the desk before ordering Ian to read the documents before finding a new team in the basement of the building.

"They will take you to your new apartment and provide you with all the information and materials you need. I am waiting for this mission to be a success. Bring me Milkovich's head and you can ask what you want. "


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey managed to create an empire by taking over his father's business.  
> Money and his family are the only things that count for him. But his life is suddenly turned upside down when he sees Ian in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found a lot of new motivation to write (for this story and "my king") thanks to you, the readers ✿♥‿♥✿ I hope you enjoy this chapter

"Put your jacket on." Mickey growled when he saw his son coming down the stairs with only a t-shirt.

"Dad! It's 70° outside, if I take a jacket I'll sweat like a pig. ”

"Well you will sweat like a pig and that's it. The last time I let you go like that you came back sick.

"It was not because of the cold, but because of the sushi that Marc had brought back."

"Well put on a jacket and don't eat sushi."

Although he denied it, Mickey was an extremely caring dad with his son. 

He hated the idea of being a father, he hated Yev for being born, but now he knew he couldn't do without this child in his life.

“Let him do as he wants. He has Russian blood flowing through his veins. In Russia, you don't fear the cold. ”

"Just because you're too stupid in your country to know what a coat is that Yev have to do the same-"

"DAD!"

"What?!?"

“Apologize to mom!”

Mickey stared at his son for a moment before sighing heavily and turning to Svetlana.

"Sorry…"

“Your excuses are as small as you Mikhailo.”

“If you-”

"DAD!"

"Okay! I’ll stop! ”Promised Mickey, raising his hands.

He preferred to leave the room knowing full well that if he stayed near Svetlana longer he would inevitably kill her.

Never when he met the young woman would he have believed that they would still be married years later.

If at that time he had to imagine with whom he would be years later only one name would have come to his mind. A name he never wanted to think about again.

Even though Svetlana had never been the person he hoped to have in his life, she had always been there for him. Neither their first meeting, nor their marriage had been a pleasure for him, but she had managed to make him forget these ordeals a little later.

The day Mickey found her 8 months pregnant, a knife in her hand, her face full of blood with Terry's body at her feet and Mandy hid behind her, he had decided to forgive her for the harm she had done to him.

He knew that she was also a victim of Terry and that she had seen in this marriage only one way to get out of the street. He had longed for it for having participated in events that had reduced his life and his hopes to nothing. But after she saved his sister from Terry's clutches, he couldn't hate her that much anymore.

Terry's death had made other changes in his life besides his relationship with Svetlana.

To avoid losing the money coming from Terry's traffic, Mickey had taken over. He had even managed to do what his father had never managed to do by gradually combining all the little strikes in the neighborhood before finally taking control of the whole city. Today he was working to extend his grip over the entire state.

Managing such an organization was complex, but he had managed to create a network of trusted men who helped him manage all the traffic passing through Chicago.

The people he trusted were few and handpicked to keep him confident of staying away from the police.

To avoid endangering his new life, Mickey also made the choice not to let any man enter in his life anymore.

Unable to be satisfied with sleeping with women, he had decided to settle for a one-night stand.

Whenever a man tried to hold on to him, painful memories came to his mind and he chased him as far away from him as possible.

* - * - *

Mickey had followed Iggy and Colin to a new bar in town.

Iggy, being in charge of all the prostitutes populating their brothels, he was necessarily linked to the different clubs in the city who regularly used their service to attract the most wealthy customers.

“I see at least 15 of our girls.”

Mickey turned to his brother to make sure he was heard and made him promise to make sure the next day to pay the club boss a visit to get the money.

“Believe me, nobody here wants to annoy Mickey Milkovich, they will pay without a problem. ”

"I hope for them."

Mickey poured himself a large glass from the whiskey bottle they'd been served. 

Taking over his father's business and the money that went with it at least made it possible to drink slightly more enjoyable and interesting alcohols than the pissed-tasting beers he had subscribed to when Terry was still in charge.

His gaze fell on his brother and a young woman dancing glued tightly together on the dance floor. Even though she seemed perfectly at ease, Colin, on the contrary, looked like a puppet that a crazy puppeteer was waving around.

"Who's the chick dancing with Colin?"

"Anya. She's a friend of Svet's. From what I understand, they were sold by their family at the same time. She contacted her again and Svet offered her a job."

"Does Colin know she's one of our girls?"

"Nope... “

"Tell him to stop. If he wants to have fun with her, he does it during her breaks. When she's with him, she doesn't make any money."

"Maybe we can let them have just five more minutes..." Iggy smiled sadly before adding. 

"It must be the first time a woman has shown any interest in him in months, I don't want to break his dreams right away."

"If he wants to keep dreaming, he can pay for it." 

Iggy couldn't suppress a little laughter at Mickey's scowl. Knowing his brother, he knew he could let Colin and that girl dance some more. Even though Mickey was a tough guy, he was always attentive to the emotions of his family members, more than he wanted to admit.

"It's a shame though... The only Milkovich who isn't interested in women is also the only one who attracts them. Maybe I should turn gay to attract more pussy..."

Mickey simply answered his brother with a finger before pouring himself another drink.

"Come on little brother, calm down ... We have to find someone to fuck you tonight so you can relax."

"I already told you that I was the one who fucked people and never the other way around." Growled Mickey.

He spoke very little about his sex life with his brother. Mainly because it was very poor, and secondly because his brother was one of the few who did not hesitate to remind him of Ian’s existence.

"That's not what I heard ..." remarked Iggy, sitting down next to his brother.

"Shut the fuck up if you want to stay alive."

"You won't kill me you love me too-"

Mickey frowned when he saw his brother as if frozen in time.

"Did you finally realize the bullshit you just said and realize you need to shut up, or did the drugs you took this morning finally reach your brain?"

"I think it's the drugs... I'm seeing hallucinations."

"Do you see pink elephants?"

"No. I'm seeing Ian Gallagher." Iggy said, pointing to the dance floor.

Mickey slowly turned his gaze to the spot Iggy pointed at before freezing in turn.

Ian Gallagher. Ian FUCKING Gallagher was standing in front of him dancing lasciviously against another man.

"Do you want to go out-"

"No."

"You want me to call-"

"No."

"If you want I can-"

"Shut up, lggy." Grunts Mickey without even turning to his brother.

He was looking at Ian Gallagher, the man who had abandoned him when he needed him most. The man who had ruined him forever for all other men and for all the happiness in this world.

"What do you want us to do?" 

Mickey didn't hear his brother's question. His eyes had met Ian's and already nothing mattered to him any more than this man, and the revenge he wanted to exact on him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian hated Mickey for preferring to obey his father rather than staying by his side, he hated him for betraying him and now he hated him even more and hoped only for one thing to knock him down and send him in prison.
> 
> He just had to silence that little part of him that couldn't help reacting to the words and caresses of this man he once loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be careful, this chapter is pretty brutal  
> tags : violence, violent sex, revenge sex, hate

Ian thought he had managed to take stock of his feelings for Mickey over the years and that he was left with only disgust and hatred for him, but it only took a look begins to experience what he felt for him before everything fell apart.

He had managed to calm down by focusing on the mission he had been given and had approached Mickey without blinking.

"What are you doing here?"

Mickey's question, or rather his groan, made Ian want to pounce on him and make him understand with his fists all the hatred he had towards him. He had spoken to him with such coldness and contempt that it was almost laughable.

"Here in Chicago, or here in this club?" Ian asked in a voice he hoped to calm and composed.

“Here.” Mickey replied simply.

Ian couldn't suppress a nervous chuckle and looked away so as not to be overwhelmed again by the urge to make Mickey regret the tone in which he spoke to him.

He noticed a few steps further two of Mickey's brothers glaring at him.

"I was released from the army. So I came back here. But I can't imagine going back to living with Fiona and Lip… So I was trying to see if I could find someone who could harbor me. ”

"Are you looking for a new closeted doctor who can pay you all you want is that right?"

"Something like that. So, if you don't mind, I'll go back to my research and get what I'm looking for. ”

"Stay here."

Ian clenched his fists when he heard Mickey's order. He knew the longer he stayed with him the more likely he was to complete this mission, but now that he was in front of him he knew he could only do two things. 

Either punch him in the face or fall head over heels in love. And at the moment he had no idea which of these options was the most dangerous.

"What do you want Mickey?"

"I want to offer you a deal."

"What do you mean."

"You said that you were looking for a place to stay... I suppose you give your pretty little ass as compensation ..."

"And?"

"And it turns out that I have a place to offer ... And even a bed."

"Do you want me to sleep with you?!?"

“Think about my proposal. I want an answer when I leave here. ”

Mickey had accompanied his affirmation with a small gesture of the hand inciting Ian to set out again towards the dance floor.

He had to repeat the words of the FBI agents over and over so as not to crack and run at Mickey.

He was used to the mission under stress, he was used to dealing with pressure, but he would never be used to Mickey Milkovich.

*-*-*

Again Ian questioned this mission.

He had just gotten into Mickey’s car and if he could believe the victorious smile he displayed, his night was not likely to end under the best auspices for him.

He clasped his hand around the pillbox in his pocket.

He couldn't go on mission for several days without his medication if he did not want to risk having a crisis and ruining everything. However, there was little chance that he could hide them from Mickey forever.

So he made the decision to play fair, stopping to hide them. He did not intend to explain to him in detail what it was for and was convinced that Mickey would not care, and in a way, he secretly hoped that this would be enough for him to send him home.

Even though he had more than once dreamed of making Mickey regret his actions, being so close to him already troubled him far too much for his own safety.

He pulled the pillbox from his jacket pocket and tried to open it before being interrupted by a hand falling on his wrist.

"What is this shit?"

Ian displayed a smile he hoped was convincing and just handed the box to Mickey to let him read the inscription.

“Iggy, you who tested all possible drugs. What's the use of lithium? ”

“Lithium? It's a mood stabilizer. Not interesting at all. You can't drug yourself with that. ”

Mickey didn't seem entirely convinced by his brother's assertion, but he released his grip, leaving Ian to open the box.

"Does this shit heals STI?"

Iggy let out a laugh and stared at his brother for a few moments through the back of the car before pulling himself together in front of his dark glare and asserting.

"If someone tries to treat an STI with that he is even more stupid than me."

Mickey finally seemed satisfied and just looked away to look at the landscape.

After a few more minutes of driving, they entered a huge property surrounded by a huge stone wall and closed by an equally imposing portal.

When his gaze fell on the interior rearview mirror of the car he met Colin's dark gaze on him. He looked away and immediately saw the huge house in front of them.

“Park in front of the guest house. I don't want Svet or Yev to see us. ”Mickey ordered to Iggy who was driving the vehicle.

Ian tightened his fingers around the leather of his seat. Although he had been warned that Mickey was still married to Svetlana and that she had given birth to a boy with an unpronounceable name, but hearing it from Mickey was completely different.

He had mentioned these names as if nothing had happened, as if none of them had played a major role in their rupture.

Ian stayed that way until the car stopped and Iggy opened the door for him.

"Don't imagine that you are entitled to preferential treatment ... I just want to be sure that you are not going to try to lock yourself in the car." Iggy asserted sharply.

Colin, standing behind his brother was still and still silent, but hatred and contempt could be read on his face. Ian was sure, without the presence of Mickey at his side, Colin would quickly pass his nerves on him.

“You two go to the house. We have stuff to do. Iggy brings the car home. And Ian, follow me.”

Ian obeyed without rebelling, knowing full well that it was now impossible for him to turn around.

He followed Mickey inside and stood for a few moments in awe of the luxury of the room.

Even if he knew how Mickey earned the money to live like that, he couldn't help but be impressed with the path he had made.

"Give me your phone and take off your clothes."

The order brutally pulled him from his thoughts. He turned to Mickey, leaning against one of the walls, his gaze fixed on him and started.

He seemed so confident and so cold that he was terrifying.

"Wh-"

“Your phone and your clothes. Take them off. I want to be sure that you are not trying to play a trick on me by registering for example ... "

"Why would I want to register?" Asked Ian, hoping that his acting was enough to hide all the information he knew about Mickey's new life.

"Don't worry about the reasons and just do it before I get angry."

"I don't have a phone..."

"Are you kidding me?" Growled Mickey, raising an eyebrow.

"No! I lost it a few days ago ... I promise. "

“I don't give a shit about your promises. Anyway, if you lie I would know soon enough. Take those clothes off. ”

Ian ends up obeying. He quickly got rid of his top and his shoes.

Mickey's look on him made him goosebumps. 

A few days earlier, he would never have imagined finding himself in the same room as this man.

He still had half his clothes on and yet he had never felt so naked in front of a man.

Before he had time to take off some other clothes, Mickey moved closer to him, forcing him to back up to the wall.

He placed a hand on either side of Ian's face before grasping one of his shoulders firmly and forcing him to turn to face the wall.

Ian could have sworn that Mickey was going to kiss him. Or maybe it was just his desire that spoke.

Even if the man in front of him seemed far from the one he had known, he could not help feeling drawn to him, despite all the hatred he still felt for him.

Mickey pressed his mouth to Ian's neck. More than a kiss, it was a bite, his teeth scraping against Ian's white skin, revealing red marks in his path.

He wrapped his arms around Ian and gripped the fastening of his belt.

Ian had trouble figuring out if he wanted to stop Mickey or help him get rid of his clothes even faster.

His mind and body froze when Mickey slipped one of his hands under the elastic of his pants and grabbed him.

He quickly regained consciousness and grabbed Mickey's wrist, preventing him from moving more.

"If you want to leave this is your last chance," growled Mickey in his back before adding.

"But I warn you, a lot has changed since the last time we saw each other."

Mickey was pressed against Ian pressing his erection against his ass.

This statement made Ian react more than he could have imagined.

He knew how much Mickey liked to bottom, and the many times he had offered to change it to be sure not to confine him to a role that did not satisfy him. Mickey had always been a bottom, a cocky one.

"So?"

Ian gently released Mickey's wrist, leaving him free to move again.

"That's what I thought." Mickey said dryly before pulling Ian's pants down to his ankles.

He quickly looked for the tube of lubricant he kept in his wallet while Ian got rid of his pants.

He didn't necessarily want to be naked, just next to Mickey, but he felt even more ridiculous with this garment that hampered his ankles than totally naked.

Mickey quickly inserted a hand between his buttocks without even trying to prevent it. Ian pressed himself against the wall and Mickey slipped his other hand on the bottom of his belly forcing him to arch his back before quickly bringing two of his lubricated fingers inside Ian.

The intrusion snatched a groan of pain from the young man whom he quickly tried to hide from Mickey. He was sure he would be happy with his condition and he did not want to give him this pleasure.

Without further ado, Mickey added a third finger, going back and forth at a breakneck pace inside Ian.

"Bend over."

Ian quickly obeyed Mickey. He heard the latter gets rid of his belt and mentally prepared himself for what was to follow.

He had never been in this situation.

He had offered it several times to Mickey, who had always refused and had never even thought of proposing it to someone else.

But by no means did he want to let Mickey know that.

His reflection was brutally cut by the sharp pain that took hold of him. He was sure, Mickey made things even more painful for him for pure pleasure.

He bit his lip and tried to think of something else until the pain gradually disappeared and was replaced by another, much more dangerous sensation.

He felt Mickey come inside him, and before he knew it he was pushed to the end too.

Mickey having let go, he collapsed against the ground at the end of his strength.

"Not bad Gallagher ... But if you plan to sleep here you will have to give a little more of yourself. I'll take a shower. Join me in the bedroom. ”Mickey said dryly as he walked up the stairs, leaving Ian naked and completely humiliated on the floor.

If Ian hadn't hated him enough until now, he could only hate him now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey tried to chase away all the dangerous feelings that Ian had aroused in him. He had tried to be as brutal as possible, chasing away all signs of humanity, but still, he could not help but have a tight heart when he saw the reactions of the man he had once loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another potentially violent chapter

Mickey tried to chase away all the dangerous feelings that Ian had aroused in him. He had tried to be as brutal as possible, chasing away all signs of humanity, but still, he could not help but have a tight heart when he saw the reactions of the man he had once loved.

He hadn't lied to Ian when he said he had changed roles since the last time he met. 

He had never agreed to bottom for anyone again, and he had no plans to please Ian by trying again today.

He had the idea of making him suffer as much as possible until his desire for revenge subsided and then left him so he would never see him again.

The day Ian had abandoned him was the last day of his life. He found himself alone having to deal with all the horrors he faced without being able to rest for a moment.

Ian had snatched away from him the little happiness he could have had and so selfishly.

Mickey punched the shower wall with his fist.

Ian should have understood that he didn't want to do this. Ian should have understood that he had no choice and that if he wanted to stay alive he had to hide who he was, who he loved. But he was sure, Ian just didn't want to understand. It was easier for him to run away and let him rot in the situation he hated with all his being.

Mickey turned off the water and grabbed a towel to quickly dry his hair. He did not try to wipe away the water droplets that still smeared on his body at all. He knew that with what he had planned for Ian, the sheets would quickly get soaked in sweat and that a few drops of water wouldn't change much.

He smiled broadly when he saw Ian sitting on the bed, back against the headboard, legs folded against his chest.

He had grabbed the bed cover to hide, which made Mickey irresistible want to tear it away.

But the idea of seeing him blindly obey him was even more tempting.

"Take them off." He ordered, standing at the end of the bed.

He stayed a moment watching Ian, had the latter obeyed, finally letting Mickey admire the marks he had just made on his body.

“Turn around. Face against the pillow. Ass in the air. "

Ian stared at him for a moment before looking away and slowly obeying him.

Mickey could feel the young man's fibers hate him and he was jubilant at the idea.

For Mickey, this position had the enormous advantage of humiliating Ian, but also of hiding from him the effect that the vision of his naked body created in him.

Even after all these years and despite the rage he had for him, he couldn't hide the fact that this man was making him feverish.

He put his hand on the back of Ian's thigh and slowly slid it inward before turning around as soon as Ian showed any sign of reaction.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and took out a bottle of lubricant.

He stood behind Ian, savoring the view before him and grabbed the bottle to pour a good dose of product onto his fingers.

Without further ado he inserted them into Ian, savoring to see him tremble and moan under him.

He continued to do so until he was sure he could slide into him without difficulty.

He hadn't used a condom simply because he didn't like it and had never used it with Ian. Besides, all the diseases of the world as dangerous as they were was nothing compared to the possibility of finally taking revenge on this man.

The feeling of being inside Ian was bewitching. He was tighter than all the other men he had been with. Their bodies were as if they were fused with each other.

Ian's growls of pain were suddenly replaced by very different sounds, and something in the young man made Mickey wonder.

He leaned forward, sticking his chest against Ian's back, inserting himself even more inside him and pressed his mouth against his neck. He stayed that way until his teeth left a new mark on Ian's skin.

"Considering how you react, it almost looks like you're a virgin."

Mickey thought of it as a joke to make Ian feel even more uncomfortable, but the red that took hold of his cheeks then caused an emotion far different from the fun in him.

Ian was a virgin. It was the first time he had been in such a situation. This idea increased the pleasure of Mickey, who accelerated until he had his head spinning and enjoyed and finally collapsed on Ian.

* - * - *

They both fell asleep like this on top of each other, both unable to move.

Mickey had pulled out as soon as he woke up as if sickened by the very idea that his body could touch Ian's.

Sensing Ian's smell on him, he quickly made his way to the shower, hoping to be able to drive away from the horrible desire he felt to join him immediately in this bed.

He froze when he got out of the bathroom when he saw Svet standing in front of the bed where Ian was still sleeping.

“Why is carrot-boy there?”

"He needed somewhere to sleep and I played the good Samaritans ..."

"Do you want to be with him again?"

"No!"

Mickey felt assaulted by Svet's question. He didn't want to get back with him, he wanted to take revenge on him, and make him understand how hurt he had been when he left.

“Colin said you wanted to-”

"Colin says shit and he better not get involved in my business."

She walked over to Ian and quickly shook his shoulder until he woke up.

The young Gallagher gripped the blanket to cover himself as soon as his gaze landed on her.

"You are not going near my house or my son, otherwise I will stab you in the heart."

Ian stood there staring at Svet. She left the room without another word, leaving the two men alone.

"You better listen to her. I have things to do but don't worry I'll be back tonight to continue what we started. "

"What if I have to go out?"

"Well, in this case, you know where the exit is, but there is no point in coming back."

Mickey knew that letting Ian leave was risky, but he hoped his situation was precarious enough to force him to stay. Besides, he knew very well that if Ian finally decided to leave he would find another way to bring him back.

His answer seemed to be enough because the young Gallagher lay down, back to Mickey, hiding his head in one of the pillows.

Mickey let out a satisfied little laugh and left the room.

He quickly went to the main house and stopped in his room to change before joining his son and Svet in the kitchen.

“Where are Iggy, Colin, and Mandy?”

“Aunt Mandy slept outside that night and Uncle Iggy is already gone. Uncle Colin was in his room earlier, shouting loudly on the phone. ”Yev said with a full mouth.

"Yev! Swallow before you speak! ”Snapped his mother, placing a plate and a cup of coffee in front of Mickey.

After all these years, Mickey and Svetlana had managed to create a stable and friendly relationship between them. In no way did they seek to pretend to love each other, but supported each other and sought each other's happiness for the good of their family.

"Dad, can you help me this afternoon with my shots?"

"We'll see if I have time. I still don't understand why you wanted to play soccer. Couldn't you be playing real football like everyone else? ”

"In many countries real football as you say is soccer."

"It’s not because the others are stupid that we should do the same." Mickey said before swallowing a big fork of omelet.

He loved those few moments he could share with his son.

It was not always easy for him to find the time to be with him, but tried to put his son before business as much as possible.

Yevgeny deserved to have a good life, and Mickey wanted to offer him what he never could have had.

* - * - *

"Mickey we need to talk."

Mickey looked up from the documents on his desk to look at his brother who had just entered the room.

He seemed more tense and tense than usual. Unwilling to find himself in a weak position, Micky decided to attack first.

"Why did you tell Svet about Ian?!?"

"Svet is the only one you're listening to! Ian-"

“I decide what I do and how I do it and you have to shut the fuck up. ”

Mickey had a hard time keeping calm. Inwardly he was afraid of the panic that had just taken hold of him at the thought of putting Ian out right now.

He knew his brother was not a fan of seeing them together, and in a way, he was probably right, but he couldn't afford to admit it.

"The last time he left you was a real wreck! Because of him Terry almost killed you! If he stays- ”

"He stays! He stays and you close your fucking mouth! I don't care what you think. I know perfectly well what I am doing and I forbid you to go and see anyone behind my back! I will get rid of Ian once I’m done with him and not before! And now get out of here. ”

Mickey watched Colin leave the room, not without sending his fist into the door as a sign of dissatisfaction.

They had never been the kind of family to hug each other and openly say that they loved each other, but Mickey had always known that a very strong bond united him to the other members of his family and that this bond had grown even more after Terry's death.

*-*-*

Building such an organization without attracting the attention of the Federals was complex, but Mickey had managed to gather around a dozen men and women in whom he had full confidence and who were responsible for carrying out his orders all over the city.

He knew that it would be difficult to stay outside the authorities' radars any longer if it weren't already too late. But in the meantime, he had managed to surround himself with very competent lawyers able to save him all the boredom related to his profession.

“Hi, boss.”

"You left early this morning." Mickey simply said when Iggy entered his office.

"I got the info that the cops were definitely going to raid one of our labs so I went there to move it before it happened."

"Why didn't you warn me?"

"I thought you should be busy with Ian, and then I could handle this alone. Did everything go as you wanted with the redhead? ”

"Hmm. Let’s say it’s a promising start. ”

"Start? You mean he's still at home? Do you trust him? "

“I'm not stupid, I don't trust him at all. This is why I would like you to have a check done for me. I want to know where he was during those years and if the military really got him out ... And that drug stuff too. I want to know why he has this thing for chicks. ”

"And do you really plan to keep him at home?"

"You know what they say ... keep your friends close to you and your enemies even closer. What I want is just to keep him close enough to make him bitterly regret the day when our paths crossed before never seeing him again. ”

"Are you going to kill him?"

The very idea of killing Ian gave Mickey a chill. He was currently unable to respond to Iggy, unable to know whether he could go this far despite their common past or rather because of their common past.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian tries to get close to Yev hoping to get information, and quickly suffers the consequences.  
> Mickey doesn't accept the idea that this man gets closer to his son, however he supports less and less to makes him suffer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your support <3  
> I prefer to publish 2 chapters this time so that you don't hate Mickey too much ... I promise things will work out for these two.

Ian walked slowly out of the house, watching carefully around for surveillance cameras or an alarm system.

If he was here it was with a mission in mind, and now more than ever he wanted to carry it out. 

Mickey had fun humiliating him yesterday, and more disconcerting than anything, he had allowed himself to enjoy this moment with him, which now led him to want to leave as soon as possible.

Escaping from here and abandoning his mission was unthinkable. 

He knew very well that his superiors would make him pay for this abandonment and he could not lose everything he had built, but it might still be the best solution if he did not want to lose control of himself.

He knew that staying close to Mickey could easily trigger a crisis, especially considering how he acted.

He had only two solutions left. Push Mickey to tell him all his secrets as quickly as possible, or find them by himself.

Given Mickey's behavior, it was easier to bet on the second solution.

At first, the garden seemed empty, until he advanced enough towards the main house and did not notice a large wall built next to the house and a young blond boy busy shooting his ball on it.

Ian felt his heart racing when he understood who this child was. 

Without knowing it, this young boy had participated in the destruction of his relationship with Mickey.

He walked over to Yev, being careful not to be seen from the main house, and stopped as soon as he was within earshot.

He clears his throat to indicate his presence to young Milkovich before displaying his biggest smile.

"Who are you?"

“My name is Ian. I'm an acquaintance of your parents ... I'm going to stay in the guest house for a while. "

"Oh! Nice to meet you, Ian. ”

"Me too, your name is Yevgeny, right?"

"Yeah ... I know my parents could have chosen a simpler name."

"It's true that after having to bear the name Mikhailo it would have made more sense for your father to choose a more common name for you." Ian said before remembering that he hadn't learned the real name. Mickey's only thanks to the FBI file.

Yev laughed at his remark.

"In your place, I would avoid saying that name out loud. Only mom has the right to say it without dad getting upset. Uncle Colin tried it once and regretted it. ”

"I can imagine…"

"If you have time can you help me with my shots? I have to practice..."

"Ok, but I warn you, I'm pretty good at football."

"You call it football?"

"Yep, in most countries, that’s what it’s called. I learned to play with French people and they mocked so much when I called it soccer that I started calling it football. ”

"Dad keeps telling me it's not real football and that I should have chosen another sport."

"I am sure you are as stubborn as your father and that you will not give in."

Yev greeted the remark with a big smile and quickly Ian noticed that the boy was as dangerous as his father, if not more.

Although he was involved in his brutal breakup with Mickey, he was not responsible for anything, and Ian was sure he was likely to get attached to him too quickly. However, Yev could be his best source of information. He had to know things about his family's business.

*-*-*

Ian was about to pass the ball to Yev when the boy froze and smiled broadly.

"Dad! Are you coming to play with us? ”

Ian turned around and barely resisted the temptation to run away. Mickey glared at him and he knew he would have to suffer the consequences.

"I think you've played enough for today. Go home to do your homework. "Mickey ordered in a surprisingly calm voice."

"Ok ..." Yev replied simply, knowing full well that there was no point in trying to haggle with his father.

He picked up the ball from Ian's feet and thanked him with a big smile for being willing to play with him.

"Inside, now!"

"Mickey, I can explain everything."

Mickey moved closer to him and Ian would have backed away if his feet weren't as nailed to the ground.

“Inside, now!”

Ian decided to obey him. He knew that the more he resisted, the more Mickey got angry.

He turned to face Mickey as soon as he stepped into the house and quickly found himself on the ground, propelled by the fist that Mickey had just sent him in the face.

"Mickey, calm down."

"Do you think you can get close to my son like that?!?" Growled Mickey, grabbing Ian's collar still on the ground.

The latter blocked Mickey's fist before he met his cheek again and twisted his arm until he could take advantage of him.

Before he could do anything, he felt great pain running down his back.

Mickey never fought loyally, he fought to survive and that made him an extremely dangerous person, despite the years of training that Ian had undergone.

Ian found himself again under Mickey, his hands pressed against his neck, on the verge of suffocation.

"I didn't know it was Yev when I saw him ... I couldn't leave without him suspecting something and starting to ask questions ..." Ian said in a half-muffled voice.

Mickey looked at him with rage and disgust as much as the day before, he had the impression that he was going to kiss him from one moment to the next.

Before he understood why Mickey’s mouth was pressed against his shoulder, his hands still pressed against his throat.

He removed one and quickly lowered it to his belt to undo it. He lowered the elastic of his boxers just to go to free his cock and straightened up to face Ian.

It wasn’t hard to understand what Mickey expected of him and as awful as this idea was to him, he wanted to obey him.

Fights had always been part of their relationship, and the feeling he was feeling now had something familiar and captivating about it.

He slid his hands under Mickey's thighs and pulled him to him, forcing Mickey to rest his hands on the ground so as not to fall backward.

He quickly took Mickey in his mouth until he knocked against the back of his throat.

He hoped to be able to quickly end this before Mickey noticed his own body's reaction to the attack.

Mickey did not move or warn him when he was about to cum in his mouth, but Ian knew exactly when it was going to happen. 

Even after so many years, he knew Mickey’s body and his reactions by heart. He knew perfectly well what to do to make him mad or to make him cum.

Mickey got up when satisfied and looked amusedly at Ian lying on the floor.

Unfortunately for the latter, it was now impossible for him to hide the reaction of his own body.

Mickey let out a mocking laugh before ordering Ian to undress.

He stood there watching him, reveling in the red that invaded his cheeks.

“Turn around.” Mickey ordered dryly.

Ian winced at the cold tiling and grabbed the first item of clothing he found when he felt Mickey against him.

A sharp pain took hold of him, quickly replaced by a very different feeling.

Mickey grabbed his arms and twisted them behind his back, preventing him from grabbing anything or touching himself.

"Stay away from Yev." Growled Mickey before planting his teeth in Ian's pulpit.

Ian was unable to hold on any longer and before he knew it, he passed out on the ground.

He didn't wake up until several hours later, comfortably seated in the bed he had shared with Mickey the day before.

He got up with difficulty, wincing at each movement, his body aching from the moments spent with Mickey.

He wrapped his sheets around his naked body and dragged himself to the window, staring at the main house.

He stepped back instinctively when he met Colin's gaze on him from the house.

To see him as this one would almost have thought that Colin hated him more than Mickey.

Ian had had little contact with him during his relationship with Mickey and he did not really know how to act with him. Instinctively however he suspected that if he wanted to stay alive he had to stay as far away from this man as possible.


	6. Chapter 6

Mickey had failed to leave Ian passed out on the cold tiled floor of the entrance.

Something inside him made him carry him to the bedroom.

He had then seen the extent of the damage he had inflicted on Ian's body and instead of getting out of it and satisfaction he had felt pain, and horror towards himself.

He had tried to remember how much he hated this man but seeing him lying there before him ruined his chances of getting there.

He had cleaned up Ian's body before quickly running away from the guest house and the influence that man had over him.

“Dad, can I go see Ian? I would like to ask him to play with me again. ”

Mickey looked up at his son and felt his heart tighten before the child's innocent smile.

"Not now. He's a little sick so he needs to rest. Maybe you can ask him tomorrow. ”

Mickey met Svetlana's gaze and he quickly understood that she did not like the idea. However, it was difficult for her to forbid her son from seeing Ian without admitting their true relationship.

Fortunately for him, a call from Iggy quickly enabled him to find a way out of this discussion which promised to be heated.

He locked himself in his office to make sure he was not heard by his son.

"What did you learn?"

"It looks like he was really fired from the military. As far as I know, he signed up under the name of his brother and was found out. "

“How long ago?”

"Two months."

"Where was he during this time?" Mickey questioned, dreading to hear an answer that didn't suit him at all.

"I couldn't find out exactly. Colin is inquiring about this period. The only reliable news I found was a few days before we saw him again. Do you think he could have crossed your path on purpose? ”

"Believe me, he had no desire to do that... Did you find out what his medication was for?"

"Not much, but according to a doc I know it could be something called bipolarity."

"What's this shit?"

"You have depressive crises and moments when you no longer control yourself and you do a lot of crazy shit... Like entering the army by stealing your brother's identity for example."

Mickey didn't know what to make of this new information. If Ian really had this disease, it meant that he may have been responsible for his behavior when they broke up.

He chased the idea away from him. Whether Ian had this disease or not it didn't interest him or concern him at all.

“Keep looking and call Mandy. I don't want her to be surprised when she sees him at home.”

"Why can't you do that by yourself?"

“Because I know it will last for hours and I don't want to waste my time. And warn her that she is forbidden to show him the slightest sympathy. "

"You know they were best friends ..."

"And I am her brother so she has to think carefully before choosing a side."

* - * - *

Mandy had returned home the same evening and even if she hadn't said anything to Mickey, the black hate look she gave him was enough to understand that she did not approve of his methods.

Still, she seemed to have chosen a side and he was happy to see that she preferred her family to this man who had destroyed her brother's life.

"Aunt Mandy, did you meet the man who lives in the guest house? His name is Ian and he's super cool. ”

"I haven't seen him yet, but I know him well. We were friends before. ”

"That is true! So cool! ”Yev said without worrying about the glare that Mickey threw at his sister.

He didn't like the idea of talking so openly about Ian in front of Yev, but now that his son had met him it seemed complicated to go back.

"Don't you want to go out with him?"

Mickey almost choked on hearing his son suggest such a thing to Mandy. He hated the idea of Ian dating Mandy until he learned that Ian was not interested in his sister. He hated being jealous of her and shamefully relished the idea of stealing his sister's boyfriend afterward. But now that this pseudo-relationship was back on the carpet, his jealousy towards Mandy also seemed to resurface.

“Carrot boy is not interested in Aunt Mandy. He's gay. ”Svet said bluntly.

Yev opened his eyes wide before simply proposing.

"Then maybe he could go out with dad."

If his son had failed to have his skin with his previous questions, he was now sure of it, he sought to complete it by speaking as openly about a possible relationship between him and Ian.

Mandy giggled before regaining his composure when Mickey glared at her.

"Mandy. Tomorrow you should help Yev with his soccer training. ”

"But you said I could ask Ian." Yev pointed out.

"Well, you will also train with Mandy." Concluded Mickey hoping that his sister understood the implication.

He couldn't avoid Yev seeing Ian again, but he wouldn't leave them alone anymore.

"I'm not sleeping here tonight." He finally said, standing up.

He wished his son good night and grabbed the bag he had placed in the hall as well as a box before heading to the guest house.

He had asked one of his employees to go buy clothes for Ian. Even if the activities he planned for him did not require any, he could not continue to wear the same clothes every time he met his son.

He put the bag on the end of the bed, waking Ian at the same time. He walked over to Ian and put the box on the bedside table.

"Eat. You haven't eaten anything since you've been there… I mean except me. ”

Ian looked away which enormously amused Mickey.

He settled into the chair in the corner of the room and watched Ian devour the dish he had brought back to him.

"Here some clothes for you. I don't want my son to think you only have this outfit. ”

He had gestured with his hand to the few clothes Ian had on him when they met that were now hanging on the ground.

"Do you want me to see Yev again?"

"No. But it turns out that he wants to see you again so I have to make up my mind. I forbid you to tell him anything about us. ”

“I promise I won't tell him anything. You can trust me."

“You are the last person on Earth that I would trust. That's why I asked Mandy to be there too. ”

"Mandy?"

"Don’t fool yourself. Mandy is MY sister and she also didn’t appreciate you running away like that. ”

Ian seemed to react to his statement and Mickey was going to push him to the limit by continuing on the same subject, but even if it had happened years ago, he still found it hard to stay calm while talking about it and he didn't Above all, didn't want to fall for Ian.

"I'm not staying there tonight so take the opportunity to rest, because tomorrow I intend to catch up." He promised, grabbing Ian's arm.

The groan of pain that Ian let out froze Mickey on the spot.

Even if he had been brutal with him, he knew perfectly where he had injured him and how and he had in no way injured the young man there.

"What happened?!?" Growled Mickey, regretting that a simple wound on Ian's body would put him in such a state.

"Nothing." Ian just groaned as he pulled himself out of Mickey's grip.

Mickey pushed Ian with all his might and climbed on him to immobilize him before forcing him to look him in the eyes and repeat his question.

"What happened?!? Who did that?!?"

"Colin ..." Ian finally admitted in a barely audible voice.

Mickey jumped up and left the room without one more glance at Ian.

* - * - *

Mickey knew he had been behind in running his business since Ian's arrival. He had left several files pending and now needed to resolve them.

He also needed to find Colin and he knew he was very likely to find him there.

It didn't take him long to find his brother, let alone punch him in the face.

He was about to hit him again when Colin's question hit him head-on.

"Why are you so worried about him?!?"

The question echoed in Mickey's head, unable to find an answer.

"You were a real wreck after he left-"

"Shut up!"

"It's his fault if-"

"Shut up!" Mickey ordered, grabbing his brother's collar and pulling it before adding.

“This is my last warning. I'm the only one who can touch him! ”

He got up leaving his brother lying on the ground, his face bruised by the blows he had just received.

Still tense by his argument with Colin and the questions that the latter had created in him, Mickey went to his office.

He knew that in his condition he would have a hard time concentrating on the job. Fortunately for him, Iggy had taken care of many of his problems.

He had notably scheduled an appointment for the next morning with one of the biggest drug manufacturers in the state.

Everyone knew that it was inevitable that Mickey would get their hands on this traffic now that he had conquered Chicago, but it remained to decide how to operate. They could agree on a process that would allow them both to benefit, or Mickey could make him understand more brutally his way of running the business.

It was not the first such exchange in which Mickey was to participate, but he was nonetheless tense. He knew that anything could escalate at any time, taking them all to the grave.

He closed his eyes and sighed long, trying to dispel all of his doubts from his mind.

Unfortunately for him, the image that imposed on him was anything but soothing.

Whatever he did Ian's face kept coming back to haunt him.

Determined to kick this man out of his mind, he quickly dialed Andrew's number.

He had been working on one of Mickey's brothels for years. For some months he had been promoted to head of the establishment and managed it surprisingly well.

Mickey liked working with him because he knew exactly what to do to make him happy, in all areas.

Andrew was one of the only people Mickey allowed himself to sleep with more than once. They both knew it would get them nowhere and it was unthinkable to mix feeling and pleasure.

It didn't take Andrew long to join him in his office, let alone take off his clothes.

Even though seeing Andrew’s body was usually enough to make it hard like a stone, Ian’s memory continued to hold on to him and made the situation bothersome.

Andrew seemed to notice Mickey’s condition and quickly prepared to fix it.

"Stop it," growled Mickey after long minutes.

"What is happening to you today?"

"It must be tomorrow's meeting that stresses me out" grumbled Mickey putting on his pants.

"Sorry for not being able to help you... If you want you can come to see me after your appointment... It will be like a reward."

Andrew had pressed himself against Mickey and had put his hand against his crotch. And once again, absolutely nothing had happened, it had remained as flaccid as before.

* - * - *

Mickey turned his head towards his brother and barely had time to take out his gun that the shots were already ringing in the warehouse.

He shot the man in front of him and grabbed Iggy's shoulder to force him to follow him behind a container.

"Are you wounded?!?"

"That asshole got me on the arm." Iggy growled, compressing the wound.

"Don't move." Mickey ordered before joining his men busy shooting the enemy and taking down 3 of the 5 men still posted in front of them.

Their chief and his chief acolytes had already left the building.

Mickey turned to his brother after the last man had been shot and found Iggy lying on the ground in a pool of blood.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian, Mandy and Yev rushes to the hospital to find Iggy and Mickey, and Ian is attacked while he is alone with the young boy.

Ian collapsed to the ground after a completely missed shot.

Instead of shooting the ball he had slipped on it to the great delight of Yev who had burst out laughing when he saw the scene.

Mandy also seemed to be enjoying the show, even if she seemed determined to hide her reactions as best as possible.

They hadn't exchanged two words since they met, Mandy, letting Yev fill the silence each time.

"It’s not nice to laugh like that." Growled Ian, trying to get up.

"You may be too old to play football."

Ian jumped up and went after the boy to make him regret his words.

"You'll see if I'm too old." Yelled Ian, chasing after Yev.

“Fuck!”

Ian and Yev both turned to Mandy and Ian noticed that his friend had picked up her phone and fear was on her face.

She nervously put her phone back in her pocket and walked toward them unsteadily.

“Iggy is in the hospital. He got shot. "

"My God! We have to go! ” Yev shouted in panic at his aunt's confession.

Mandy ran to the house but fell before getting there. Ian rushed over to help her up.

Her face was soaked with tears and her hands were shaking convulsively.

"Calm down. He will be alright. Tell me where the keys are, I'm going to drive. ”

"Mickey-"

"Don't care about Mickey yet. I won't let you drive. Yev! Come help your aunt get to the car. I'll go get the keys. ”

Yev immediately obeyed and guided Mandy to the car.

Ian quickly joined them and drove off the vehicle. 

He had never been very close to Iggy but he was a person who meant a lot to Mickey and Mandy and he could not imagine the fear he was feeling right now.

When they got to the hospital, Ian helped Mandy out of the car while Yev rushed to the reception to get information.

They were quickly guided to the room where Iggy had been taken after his operation.

"The nurse said he shouldn't see too many people at one time. Mandy goes first, I stay there with Yev- "Ian started before being cut by the boy.

“I want to see Uncle Iggy!”

“Yev, listen to me. I know you want to see him, but he has to rest. Mandy will go first and as soon as she comes back you can go see him too. Okay?"

"Okay…"

"Mandy, do you know if Svetlana and Colin have been called?"

"Yes, they should arrive soon I think."

"Okay. We will wait here. Go see Iggy. ”

Mandy shyly nodded and headed for the bedroom, leaving Ian and Yev in the hallway.

"Do you think it's going to be okay?"

"It will be fine. Your uncle is someone tough. It takes more than that to get rid of a Milkovich. ” Promised Ian before offering to follow him to the coffee machine.

"I don't drink coffee, Dad says I'm too young."

Ian let out a nervous laugh. Yev definitely had no idea what Mickey could do at the same age as him. Their childhoods were decidedly very different.

“Ok, I'm having coffee and you a hot chocolate. Okay? ”

Yev shyly nodded and followed Ian into the hallway.

Ian felt like he was being watched, but he couldn't identify anyone in particular by scanning the hallway.

"Something 's wrong?" Yev asked.

Ian didn’t have time to respond to the young boy as two men stood behind them, tacking a tissue over their faces.

Ian crushed the man’s foot behind him and immediately grabbed the man’s arm holding Yev to force him to release the boy.

Ian felt a fist fall against his ribs and he turned to face his attacker. He threw the palm of his hand against his chin before rotating it and wrapping one of his arms around his neck.

It will tighten firmly until the man falls down.

He turned again to Yev who was trying to get rid of his attacker's grip and grabbed his arm to force him to let go of the young man.

“Hit his balls.” Ian ordered.

Yev immediately obeyed and the man found himself on the ground groaning miserably.

"Isn't that a bit mean?" Yev asked, trying to catch his breath.

Ian let out a laugh. He was still struggling to understand how with parents like Mickey and Svetlana, Yev could have become like this.

"Believe me. In this kind of fight, you can be mean. ”

Ian's smile disappeared when he read the fear on Yev's face again.

He turned around and found himself facing four other men, clearly determined to finish the task started by their predecessors.

“Go find your father. NOW!" Growled Ian, standing between these men and Yev.

He didn't turn around to give the men no chance, hoping that Yev would obey him and soon find himself safe with his father.

"Get out of there. We just want the kid, not you. ”

"I can't let you do that, today I am his nanny..."

"Well, you will regret it, nanny." Announced one of the men, advancing dangerously towards him with a knife in his hand.

The movements of these men were definitely coordinated. They seemed to be used to working as a team, which made it all the more difficult for a single man to quit.

Convinced that Yev had been able to join his father, Ian gave up on the idea of arresting them and only tried to save time to allow Mickey to put his son in safety.

He managed to break two arms and a few ribs before finding himself strangled against the wall.

He felt his breath start to run out when the man finally let go of his grip to run away with his cronies, recovering their two colleagues on the ground.

“Fuck Gallagher!”

Ian felt like his head was going to explode.

He was sure he had received a blow to the head. there was no other plausible explanation. Otherwise why Mickey would find himself before him with such a worried expression.

“Answer me Ian. Fuck- ”

"Mickey…?"

"Stay with me. Don't close your eyes. Why the hell is no one here !?! ”

"Yev ...?"

Ian's voice was barely audible. he wasn’t even sure Mickey could hear him. To tell the truth, he wasn't even sure it was Mickey in front of him.

This man could only be a hallucination, Mickey could never feel fear for him like that.

“Yev is fine. He's with Mandy and Svet. ”

"Good- You shouldn't- you shouldn't-" whispered Ian before passing out.

* - * - *

Ian woke up in a strangely familiar room.

He was back at Mickey like all this had been only a dream.

He tried to sit up, but the pain in his head made him quickly regret the idea.

"You are finally awake."

Ian turned to Mickey, leaning against the door of his room.

The memories come back to him and suddenly fear invades him.

He got up suddenly without paying any attention to the pain impaling his head.

“Yev?!? How's Yev?!? ”

"He is fine. He was a bit shaken by all of that but it's okay. ”

"Thank God!" affirmed Ian relieved.

He tried to shift to lean against the headboard, but his arms didn't seem to be really ready to obey him.

He closed his eyes to try to chase away the pain and questioned in a low voice.

“What about Iggy?”

"He is fine. Doctors managed to stop the bleeding. he just needs to regain strength. He is resting in the main house. ”

"Did the doctors accept to let him out?"

"No. But I did not leave them the choice. When no one there could explain to me how two members of my family could have been attacked and injured in their building without anyone noticing, they quickly accepted my request. In any case, I have much more competent doctors at my service.”

Ian knew there was more to remembering information that Mickey had just given him, but the only thing he could think of was that two of his family members had been attacked.

"Who else was injured?"

“You moron! Don't tell me you're too stupid to realize it. ”

Ian was forbidden to stare at Mickey. He couldn't figure out if he misunderstood what Mickey said or if it was Mickey who hadn't noticed the words he had used.

"I-" Ian started before putting his hand to his forehead, hoping that as if by magic it would be enough to get rid of the headache he felt.

"Stop moving. The doc said you had to take these meds when you woke up. He was warned for your illness, the new meds shouldn't make others bug. ”

Ian turned his head to the place shown by Mickey. He gently grabbed the few tablets from the bedside table and the bottle of water before swallowing them.

“The rest is in the bathroom. You have to take them in the morning and in the evening… ”

Mickey had come closer, dangerously closer. He was now only inches away from him, and even if he didn't know if it was the result of the confrontation or real emotion, Ian could only feel his heart beating at full speed in his chest.

He grabbed the water bottle that Ian was still holding in his hand before placing it on the bedside table.

"Stop moving." Mickey repeated again before crushing his lips against Ian's.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaken by the sudden attack on Yev and Ian, Mickey lets rise to the surface some feelings he thought lost forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not in a great mood these days.  
> I don't know about you, it depends on where you live, but in my country, we have to stay 15 days (minimum) without going out and trips outside of Europe are prohibited for the next 30 days (I have a trip planned in 36 days and I'm afraid of having to cancel everything).
> 
> And if this virus wasn't enough other elements come to taint my motivation and my good mood...
> 
> What helps me a little to stop seeing life in black is when I see that some of between you like my stories (as imperfect as they are), and I tell myself that if I can help you to think about something else during this period I must do it.
> 
> So I will motivate myself, publish a few chapters and start writing again!  
> That said, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Mickey gently pushed Ian to lie down without separating their mouths.

He slowly slid his hand against his neck and climbed over him.

He slid his mouth against Ian's neck and quickly undid all the buttons on the shirt he was still wearing.

"Mickey-"

"Shut up. Just shut up. ” Mickey ordered softly before placing his hands on Ian's chest and running his mouth over his skin.

He went down until his lips met the fabric of his jeans and stood up to rid Ian of this clothes.

“Mick-”

"Shut up please." Mickey ordered again, going up to his face.

He stared into his eyes for a moment before kissing him again.

He felt Ian's hands rest on his thighs and he stood up to get rid of his clothes in turn.

He settled back on top of Ian and grabbed the lubricant from the bedside table without ceasing to kiss him.

He attacked Ian's neck again, savoring the taste of his skin against his tongue and arched against him so that he could insert two lubricated fingers inside him.

“Just for tonight.” He murmured against Ian.

Even though he had never after Ian agreed to be bottom for anyone, he hadn't stopped altogether either, just keeping that pleasure for more lonely moments.

He thanked Heaven at the time for not being abstinent for all these years. After so long he would have regained his virginity and take Ian Gallagher in was not an easy thing for virgins. 

He quickly added a third finger, stifling his gasps of pleasure against Ian's neck.

He straightened up and grabbed the base of Ian's cock and quickly lowered his hand over it, keeping his gaze fixed on Ian.

The latter grabbed his arm preventing him from moving.

"Mickey…"

“Don’t make me beg for it please.”

He let out a groan when he pressed Ian's cock against his entrance and gently impaled himself on it.

"Mickey…"

This time Mickey didn't order him to shut up. He let Ian put his hands on his thighs, stroking his skin.

Mickey let himself down until their skins sticked together. And closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling he had missed so much.

Ian straightened, wincing before trapping Mickey's lips and hugging his waist with one of his arms.

"Move ... Move for me please ..." Ian ordered softly.

Mickey obeyed, being careful not to hurt Ian, and bit his lip to hold back a groan of pleasure.

"I want to hear you." Whispered Ian against Mickey's ear.

This request was like an electric shock for Mickey who released all the ardor and the passion which he held for so many years.

He crushed his mouth against Ian's again, moaning against his lips, trying every moment to fuse their bodies a little more.

“Fuck! I’m gonna- I’m gonna- ”

“Come for me Mickey.” Ian ordered, grabbing Mickey's neck.

Mickey could not suppress the orgasm which seized him and he enjoyed against Ian, quickly imitated by the latter.

* - * - *

Earlier Mickey had wanted to kill Ian more than ever.

Svetlana had arrived at the hospital but had found neither Ian nor Yev in the hallway and Mickey had immediately imagined that this man he already hated so much had kidnapped his son.

He had only had one desire, to find him and make him pay for everything he had done to him by breaking one by one each of his bones.

Seeing his son entering the room with his face distorted by fear, he had imagined the worst.

He had feared for Ian’s life and rushed without thinking to help him as if all the disgust he felt for him had disappeared to leave room for the feelings of before.

Even after years of hating him and chasing away memories of their adolescence, Mickey couldn't deny that he cared for Ian more than anything and that he could never let anyone hurt him.

He had pointed his gun at the man in front of Ian and everyone had fled.

More interested in Ian’s survival than in chasing these men, Mickey rushed to him hoping that he wouldn’t be too late.

He had more than once dreamed of killing Ian, but he could never bear the idea of having him taken away from him.

Once alone with Ian, he could not restrain his desire and had given up all form of self-love to throw himself into his arms.

He hated admitting it, but Ian Gallagher would be forever different from other men. He was the only one who could make him feel all these feelings, he was the only one he was able to love.

"You okay?"

His sister's voice pulled him from his trance and he turned to the door to face her.

“How's Iggy.” He questioned, carefully avoiding not answering his question.

"He is fine. And Ian? ”

"Hmm."

Mandy stayed a few moments to stare at him before getting angry and asking.

“Hmm? Is that all you have to say?!? ”

"What do you want me to tell you. You heard the doctors like me, he just needs rest. ”

"Mickey ... You know I wasn't just talking about that."

"This is the only answer you will have."

"Okay. In this case, I will go and ask him myself. ”

"No!"

"Do you think you can forbid me to see my friend? If I have stayed on your side so far it is because I thought you no longer loved Ian. And now I’m sure I’ve been completely wrong all these years. I have no more reason not to go see him. ”

Mickey remained frozen watching his sister leave the room.

He knew that despite the past that existed between him and Ian, Mandy had always considered Ian as her best friend.

Mickey felt an overwhelming urge to drink.

He knew that alcohol would not solve his problems, but at least he would keep them away long enough for him to fall asleep.

He went down to the living room and grabbed one of the whiskey bottles in the cupboard and a tall glass. If he listened to himself he would probably lower the entire bottle, but he knew that this idea would bring nothing good.

"I want a drink too." Svetlana said behind him.

He grabbed a second glass and filled it before placing it with his on the coffee table.

He sat on the couch and she did the same before raising the glass to her lips and swallowing the liquor.

“I want the head of the one who tried to kidnap Yev. And I want you to let carrot boy go. ”

"And I want world peace ... No one has everything they want!" Affirmed Mickey angry.

He could understand Svetlana's desire to find the men who had attacked Yev. He understood it because he was filled with the same desire. But even if he knew he had to let Ian go, he knew he could never do it. Not after what had just happened between them.

"I always have what I want." Svetlana growled before adding.

"Either you take care of it or I do."

Mickey remained silent as he watched her leave the room.

He didn't notice Colin's presence in front of him until a few minutes later.

"What?!? Are you going to moan again because of Ian?!? ”

“You should let him go. It would be better for both of you. ” He said simply before he too came out of the room.


	9. Chapter 9

Ian didn't know how to react after what had happened between him and Mickey.

He had wanted to join Mickey in the main house to understand, but he preferred to repeat to himself over and over that it didn't change anything between them.

His feelings for Mickey Milkovich could not change like this, not after all these years and not after the mission he had been given, not after what Mickey did to him.

He sought sleep, hoping that the night would allow him to forget what had happened.

Unfortunately his unconscious thought it wise to revive him in his dreams these last moments with Mickey, over and over again, until making him come in his sleep like a teenager.

Mickey's glare of rage was the first thing he saw when he woke up.

Part of him hoped that the hatred that Mickey felt towards him would allow him to forget the feelings that seemed to take possession of his heart.

He watched Mickey approach him and didn't move when the latter grabbed him by the throat. The rage gave way for a moment to another type of feeling and Mickey released it immediately before turning disgusted.

“Yev asked to see you. I don't want to leave him alone with you so I told him you'd come to find him. ”

He left the room without Ian being able to say a single word.

Instead of reinforcing his urge to knock Mickey Milkovich down, the contempt he had read in his eyes made him want to cry as if the man's feelings still matter to him.

* - * - *

“Ian!”

Ian stood motionless for a moment, surrounded by Yev's arms.

"I was worried. Mom said you need to rest. I hope they didn't hurt you. I'm sorry I ran away. I should have fought with you but I don't know how to do it. Dad always forbade me to fight and he doesn't want to teach me-”

“Calm down kido. I'm fine." Gently promised Ian before gently stroking Yev's hair.

"I'm sorry…"

"You don't have to be sorry. I told you to leave. If you had stayed they would have hurt you. ”

Yev looked down sadly and stared at the floor before asking in a barely audible voice.

"Can you teach me how to fight?"

“Yevgeny! I already told you that you wouldn’t learn to fight! ”

"Mum-"

“Go to your room!"

"Right now!" She insisted when Yev pretended not to have heard her.

Mandy sighed and put her hands on her nephew's shoulders to push him towards the stairs.

Now that he was alone with Svetlana Ian felt like he had never been in such danger.

This woman seemed ready for anything for her son and the knife she held in her hands did not really help to calm Ian's anxiety.

“You protected Yev. Thank you."

Ian nodded, unable to know if this woman was in danger of having a mood change and cutting his throat right away.

“Sit down.”

Instinctively Ian obeyed and sat down across from Svetlana. She put a bowl in front of him and just added.

"Borscht. Eat."

"May I ask something…?"

Ian had a hard time recognizing his own voice, but this woman looked scary on the other side more scary than any man he had ever met.

"You saved Yev, you can ask."

“Why don't you want Yev to learn to fight? Mickey knows how to fight, Mandy too- ”

"Yev is not like Mickey! Mickey had to learn because he had Terry for father. Yev has Mickey for father. Yev doesn't need to learn to fight. "

Ian clasped his hands together to try to hide the tremors Terry's name had created in him.

"But what’s gonna happen if he meets Terry one day?"

“Yev will never meet Terry. Terry is dead. ”

He looked up and met Svetlana's hard gaze. She didn't seem to feel any emotion.

“Dead?”

"He wanted to hurt Mandy. He entered her room at night. Mandy is my husband's sister, I had to protect her. This is what the family is for. "

"You killed Terry to protect Mandy?"

Ian still couldn't believe that Terry, the man who always made Mickey’s life hell, was dead. He had long dreamed of killing him, but never managed to overcome the fear of the consequences to do so.

He knew he should have tried more, he should have protected Mickey instead of leaving him alone in front of Terry.

He had always chased this idea out of his mind, preferring to remember the hatred and pain that Mickey had created in him by marrying Svet. He had preferred to forget the pain that Mickey could have felt rather than having to continue to suffer for him without knowing what to do.

On Mickey’s wedding day he walked around town with no specific destination in mind, just wanting to see all his problems disappear.

He had approached a bridge, hoping that by jumping he could drown his and Mickey's pain.

He had been there for many minutes before finally turning around and crying on the ground.

He had been unable to jump, happy memories of Mickey's preventing him from killing himself. However, he knew he would not survive keeping his pain and Mickey's in him, so he had made a choice, a selfish one.

To abandon Mickey and hate him.

"I don't like you carrot-boy. You wanted to steal my husband when I was pregnant. And because of you Mickey was just drinking and fighting all the time. Because of you, he didn't like Yev ... But you saved Yev so I forgive you a little. ”

Ian realized his condition only when he felt tears run down his cheeks. He roughly wiped them with the back of his sleeve before trying to find enough calm to speak.

“How did he get there?” He asked, gesturing to the house.

"I am not stupid, I know that all this costs a lot of money and that it should not be very legal ..."

“Mickey does what he has to do for his family. He’s not a good husband, but he’s a good father. ” 

* - * - *

Ian had spent the rest of the day with Yev and Mandy. There was something contagious about the boy's joy and it was hard not to smile when he was by his side.

He even managed to make him forget the mission that had pushed him into this house.

He returned to the guest house only to sleep but found it difficult to chase away the thoughts that clouded his mind.

He was still supposed to find evidence against Mickey, but the more his mission progressed, the more dangerously he wanted to protect Mickey and his family.

He turned around in the bed and stared at the door hoping that Mickey entered his room as he had done the nights before.

He was sure, if Mickey came to see him this evening, his violence would drive away all desire to protect him and reinforce the hatred he had had for him all these years.

He turned again when he heard footsteps in the hallway as if suddenly the idea of facing Mickey terrorized him more than anything. His heartbeat will accelerate to the sound of the door creaking.

He squeezed his fingers around the sheets, ready to yell at Mickey at the slightest touch, but the door closed quickly and the noise gradually disappeared from the bedroom leaving Ian alone in the dark.

He straightened up to check that his mind was not playing tricks on him, but he was alone in the room which suddenly seemed much colder.

He felt his heart tighten and banged hard against the bed, unable to understand why Mickey's silence made him suffer so much.

* - * - *

Ian stared into the mirror. His eyes were red and dark. He had been crying all night without being able to stop.

When he got up he had made a decision to leave and get away from Mickey as quickly as possible.

He knew that once again he was just fleeing the pain and the trouble, but he couldn't bear all of those heartbreaking feelings.

He also knew that he would have to face the consequences of his actions and that his superiors would make him pay dearly for his desertion, but he could not imagine a more painful punishment than this.

He tidied up the room before heading to the main house, hoping to find Mandy there.

Mickey had always said that he could leave at any time, as long as he did not seek to return thereafter, and he hoped that Mandy would agree to take him outside without trying to warn one of her brothers.

He walked around the living room and the kitchen before hearing a noise upstairs and deciding to follow him finding no one on the ground floor.

He found Svetlana installed in what appeared to be his bedroom. It was not difficult to understand from the glare that she was giving him that she did not want to see him there.

"If you're looking for Mickey you won't find him here." She said dryly.

"I- I'm looking for Mandy actually."

"Why do you want to see her?"

"I would like to go out-" Ian started before perceiving Svetlana's glare.

"Are you giving Mickey up?"

"I'm not giving him up." Ian defended himself limply without the least conviction.

"You abandon him. That’s what you do, every time you abandon him. ”

Ian clenched his fists, letting his nails enter the pulp of his palm.

He hated hearing Svetlana talk about him that way, and he hated, even more, realizing that she was right.

“Mickey will be better off without me.”

"I don't accept you leaving."

"You want me to go more than anyone else, we both know that."

"I want Mickey to let you go, it's not the same. You are trying to run away, like the last time and if you do that he will still suffer. I want him to forget you."

Ian felt a ball form in his throat. Hearing these words come out of Svet's mouth hurting him more than anything he had experienced since arriving in this house.

The very idea that Mickey could forget him terrorized him.

"If Mickey accepted this situation, it was to be sure that his father's anger did not fall on Mandy or on you. And you abandoned him! And you are still trying to do it."

"If I left it was because I knew that there could be nothing more between Mickey and me. Because you stole everything from me! You arrived and in everyone's eyes, you were a happy family... What I could do was sit there and suffer?!? I couldn't stay. "

"I didn't want to steal anything from you. I never wanted that! But I wasn't going to lose the only chance I had of getting out on the street. I'm not in love with Mickey, but it doesn't stop me liking him and loving our family. If you leave you're going to destroy Mickey and I can't let you do that."

"I didn’t cross Mickey's path by chance."

"What do you mean?!?"

Ian had spoken instinctively, without thinking about the consequences. Or more specifically, he hadn't thought about the consequences for him. 

He realized that running away from Mickey would not put him and his family out of harm's way. Just like the first time, this gesture would still be filled with cowardice and selfishness, leaving Mickey faced with an enemy who could strike at any time.

He had left Mickey alone in front of Terry and now he was about to leave him alone again, for the sole purpose of protecting himself by cowardice.

He raised his head and took a deep breath before confessing.

"I was not expelled from the army. I still work for them. The government wants to arrest Mickey and they learned that I knew him and that we had something... So they decided to use me as a mole and send me here for information. ”

Svetlana ran her hand behind a cushion and pulled out a gun which she aimed at Ian.

"I haven't provided anything to them yet. I couldn't take a phone with me when I came, so I was scheduled to go out to contact them, which was never done. ” Ian continued without paying any attention to the gun pointed at him.

“You went out with Yev and Mandy-”

“We went straight to the hospital and later I was unconscious and woke up here. I couldn't tell them anything and I wouldn't tell them anything. ”

She seemed to hesitate for a moment at his assertion and asked.

"Why?"

"You said it yourself. I abandoned Mickey. I affirmed to love him but I wasn’t even able to protect him as you did. I don't want to make that mistake again. ”

"Why should I believe you? Why would you help him after what he did to you?"

I can't blame him for hating me after what I did to him ... I can never hate him, whatever he does, I know it now, I always knew it. I know it doesn't make sense and you won't trust me ... But let me help you. This time let me protect Mickey as I should have done before."

"You're right, I don't trust you." Svet replied coldly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey feels like his heart is going to explode. Ian is gone and he will never see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is quite sad, like very sad, like SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD （◞‸◟）

Mickey felt anger building up when he did not find Ian in the guest house when he got home.

He certainly agreed that he could go to the main house, but he did not like the idea of Yev becoming attached to him even less after what he had planned to do.

He had decided to let him go. He could not keep him at home, not after he had saved his son and especially not now that he had revived feelings much more dangerous in him than hatred and rage.

Ian had to go, and he had to go now!

Seeing him go away from him years ago had been heartbreaking for Mickey, but he couldn't get out of his head that this time his departure would sound like a liberation for them, keeping all of those dangerous feelings away from him.

He went to the main house but found only Svetlana busy on her computer.

"Where's Ian?"

"Carrot boy is no longer there."

"What do you mean?!? What has happened?!?"

Mickey had reacted without thinking. He had planned to let Ian go, but not finding him at home when he came home suddenly gave him a feeling of emptiness and panic.

“Carrot boy will never come back. I took care of it myself. ”

"What do you mean?!?" Growled Mickey again, sending Svetlana's computer and everything on her desk to the ground.

He knew that if he didn't let off steam on inanimate things it would be on her that he would spend his anger.

Mickey prayed inwardly that her answer would drive away from him the horrible thoughts that those few words had created in him.

She continued to look at him and said without blinking.

"Carrot boy was in the army."

"I know that! He was fired-"

"NO! He was not fired. He was still working for them. ”

Mickey felt himself going back as if pushed to the ground by Svetlana's affirmations and grabbed the desk so as not to fall.

“Iggy found the info. I confronted him and he wanted to run away. So I stopped him. Now he won't hurt our family. They’ll quickly understand what’s going on so we have to move. I have booked several tickets, with different destinations. We're leaving tonight. ”

Mickey didn't know what to say or feel.

Ian had lied to him, manipulated him, approached him to hurt him.

But Ian was dead. His Ian. He would never see him again, and it broke his heart.

"You get the money-" Svet started before Mickey pressed his hand to her throat.

He dropped her to the floor, clutching his fingers a little more around her neck, watching her face change color due to the lack of oxygen.

This woman had killed the man he loved most and acted as if nothing had happened.

“Yev.” Groaned Svetlana's voice hoarse from the pressure on her throat.

Mickey eased the pressure a little on hearing his son's name. He knew he could never be forgiven in Yev's eyes if he killed Svetlana.

She took advantage of this moment to free herself and grab a gun stored in her office.

"I don't want to kill you, but if you try again I will. I killed Carrot boy because he wanted to hurt our family. It's our family first! So you're going to get the money back, all the money you can get and we're going to leave tonight if not we're going without you. ”

Mickey glared at her. After all these years of hating Terry and hating Ian, he thought that no one could cause him deeper hatred. 

Now that he had Ian's murderer in front of him, he knew that the feelings he had felt before were nothing compared to the real suffering and visceral hatred he felt now.

* - * - *

Mickey felt tears fill his eyes as he entered the room he had shared with young Gallagher.

He had been there the day before but had left Ian without a word for fear of the feelings that Ian aroused in him.

After Ian saved Yev, Mickey could only have felt disgusted.

Disgust for himself and for what he did to Ian. As if this incident had opened his eyes to the atrocities he had subjected him to since he had seen him again.

He walked slowly toward the bed before collapsing to the floor.

He grabbed the sheets, pulling them toward him to cover himself and hide the tears that ran down his face.

He hated Ian for abandoning him, he hated him because he was the only one who brought him some happiness.

He had always had to be strong, to outlive his father, to protect his sister, and he had never been able to rest apart when he was with Ian.

Ian was the only one who wanted to make him happy, the only one who had ever protected him. And selfishly Mickey wanted to keep him close to him, even if his presence made the man he loved suffer.

Ian was the only person he wanted with him, the only person he loved unconditionally, the only person he couldn't let go of.

And now he would never see him again.

He could no longer hate him, he could no longer love him.

* - * - *

Leaving the bedroom and the sheets that still smelled of Ian had been an ordeal for Mickey.

He knew, however, that if he did nothing Yev, Mandy and the rest of his family would suffer the consequences.

He had no desire to help Svetlana and if it was up to him he would have killed her on the spot, but as she had made him understand, Yev would never forgive him for such a gesture.

Unlike Terry, he had made it a point of honor over the years to prepare his escape, keeping aside enough money and means to escape the police or rivals too strong for him.

Several times he had questioned the necessity of this plan, before each time remembering all that he risked losing.

He was certain that without Ian's testimony, the authorities must not have had much on him, not with all the precautions he had taken over the years. If that had been the case, he would have stopped him long ago.

"Did you ask to see me, Mickey?"

Mickey didn't bother to look up at his brother, he didn't know what role Iggy had played in Ian's death, but after what Svetlana had told him he knew that if he laid eyes on him he couldn't control himself.

"Did you send the documents I asked for?"

"Yes. I also planned tomorrow's meeting and I made sure to leak information... ”

"OK. Tell the lawyers to start working. "

"Mickey?"

"What?!?"

Mickey still hadn't lifted his head, staring at the keyboard of his computer, fists clenched against the table.

"Nothing- Sorry."

Again Mickey had to fight the urge to hold his brother and beat him up until his face was no more than a shapeless pulp of flesh and blood.

* - * - *

Mickey slipped his fingers through Yev's hair, asleep, his head on his lap. The boy looked so innocent and ignorant of the situation.

It’s now been five hours since they hit the road leaving behind everything they’ve built.

Mickey always knew when he took control of his father's business that he wouldn't always be safe and that the cops would eventually take an interest in him.

He never had the ambition to spend his life as a criminal but took advantage of these years to the maximum to save the most money.

He knew he would never set foot in Chicago again, or even in the United States.

Surely he should have felt sad to leave this city that had seen him born and grow up, but in his life, there were only two things that mattered.

One, his family, was with him in this car, and the other could never be with him again.

He again felt his tears winning his eyes and turned his head towards the window to let no one perceive the sadness he felt, looking into the darkness of the night, watching the lights of the city gradually fade little in their path.

* - * - *

"Did you get news from Chicago?" Asked Mickey, pouring some whiskey in his glass.

They had joined a few hours earlier one of the many houses they had quietly bought over the years, and now that Yev, Mandy, and Svet had gone to bed he could finally discuss the technical details of their escape with Iggy.

“Everything went as planned. The cops arrested Mayers. Colin will take care of the rest tomorrow. He should join us in a few days. ”

"Perfect. At least, our escape must serve to put this asshole in prison until the end of his life. It'll teach him to take it out on our family. ”

"By family, do you mean me, Yev or Ian?"

“You should learn when to shut your fucking mouth!” Growled Mickey, violently knocking down his glass on the table, breaking it to pieces.

Iggy tried to approach him for help, but the brutal look Mickey gave him nailed him to the spot.

He headed for the door hoping that leaving him alone Mickey would calm down a bit, before finally turning around at the last second and confessing.

“I always thought that none of us would have a hard time leaving this place. You, even less than the others. But I was completely wrong. I now know that you would have stayed, you would have waited, and hoped, even if you died... ”

Mickey remained banned, motionless, staring blankly, unable to tell Iggy that he was wrong, but just as incapable of lying to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think publishing a oneshot tomorrow ... I let you the choice between "drunk", "just a kiss" and "my ex"


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian is determined to help Mickey the best he can, especially by staying as far away from him as possible

Ian only had a few minutes in the conference room before he was joined by the same man he had met the first time he set foot in the building.

“Mister Gallagher, I hope you bring me good news. We have had no information from you since the beginning of this mission. ”

"I'm sorry sir, but despite my infiltration, I couldn't get any viable information." Ian replied looking straight ahead.

"Are you kidding me? I know you lived inside the Milkovich property. ”

“I was confined to the guest house. I was unable to enter the main house or chat with the other residents, and Mickey Milkovich did not share any information with me. "

“Stop lying to me, Gallagher! I know what happened in the hospital. I know you were there with Yevgeny Milkovich and after being attacked it was Mickey Milkovich himself who came to help you. Don’t try to lie to me! 

Ian turned to him and glared at him with rage.

"How do you know about the hospital?"

"I'm the one asking the questions here Gallagher!"

"They told me that security cameras were out of use. So you couldn't have known it that way. The only other possibility is that you were there.”

"That doesn't concern you, Gallagher!"

"You were there, next door and you did nothing?!? Yev almost got kidnapped and you did nothing? He's a child! You had to defend him! ” Growled Ian, jumping up completely forgetting the rank of the man in front of him.

“You have lost your sense of realities, Gallagher. These people are not people to be defended! These are only assets to succeed in dismantling this organization. ”

"You were able to sacrifice a kid for the sake of your investigation?!?"

“Stop that tone with me, Gallagher! I am your superior- ”

"Not anymore. I quit. "

Ian felt an enormous weight lift from his shoulders as he said these words. He never imagined that he would ever voluntarily leave the military, but nothing could hold him back, not after what he had just heard.

If he had entered the army it was to protect those who mattered to him, now that the army itself attacked them, he could no longer keep quiet.

“There will be consequences.”

Ian showed a big, satisfied smile.

"Go ahead."

"I'll-"

The man suddenly stopped when his phone began to ring, echoing throughout the room.

A huge smile appeared on his face when he saw the number on the screen.

"I don't think I would need you anymore, Mr. Gallagher ..."

Ian automatically tensed at the satisfied look the man in front of him was showing. He watched him activate the loudspeaker and froze when he heard the caller say he was chasing Colin Milkovich.

"We know very well that Mayers is just a trick. But with one of the Milkovich brothers, we are sure we can stop Mickey.” The FBI agent triumphantly affirmed before panicking when he heard his correspondent announce that Colin was sowing them.

Ian found himself praying for Colin to get out.

They never liked each other, however, Ian couldn't imagine seeing Colin die. Not knowing what he meant to Mickey and Mandy.

The discussion between the two men got carried away and more than once Ian almost snatched his phone from the FBI agent to order the other agents to stop the pursuit. But before he could do anything the man on the other end began to scream.

“He just fell into the ravine! We wanted to force him to stop by sticking him against the railing, but he gave in and he fell. ”

Ian watched the man in front of him rush out of the office, screaming on the phone.

He couldn't figure out what he was saying to him, he couldn't figure out what was going on. All he knew was that by now Colin was probably dead and that it was all his fault.

Invaded by a feeling of rage and horror, he grabbed the man by the throat, knocking him down to the ground before tightening his hands a little more around his neck. None of his opponent's blows seemed to hurt him the least, and neither did he feel the two men coming behind him forcing him to let go, or even the taser he received after that.

The black fell on him, sending him back to a world of solitude and silence, where nothing around him existed anymore.

He was overcome with the urge to run to join Mickey. He had to be with him, he had to apologize, he had to help him. But he knew it, but it was impossible for him.

He knew after talking to Svetlana and Iggy that Mickey had several rescue plans to escape the police and that they were probably far from Chicago at the moment.

However, he did not know where these plans could have taken him. He had forbidden Iggy to give him any information.

Each time he had brought chaos and destruction to Mickey’s life, and he certainly didn’t want to start over, even if he already felt himself dying to know he was far away.

* - * - *

It had taken 2 months for Ian to become a free man again.

He had no memories of the first month except for a feeling of guilt and hopelessness.

At the start of the second month, he was forced to meet with a new psychologist and to resume treatment.

He later met a man whom he knew nothing about and who claimed to be his new lawyer.

Ian never imagined being defended by a lawyer like him. Just his suit seemed to cost more than the whole wardrobe he owned.

However, it was his case that he had successfully pleaded.

The fact that he was sent on an undercover mission despite his illness, the little reinforcement he had received, and the risk that the case would be made public had pushed the army and the FBI dropped the charges, not without permanently dismissing Ian.

The names of Mickey and his brothers had been mentioned more than once during the trial, each time glassing Ian on the spot. But the absence of other than circumstantial evidence against them had been enough to sweep away all of the opposition's reasoning.

It did not take Ian long to understand that it was his family who had hired this new lawyer instead of the one provided by the army, of which Ian had no memory and who seemed to do nothing decided to get him out of there.

Ian immediately reimbursed his siblings with the money he had saved for all these years.

He could never but be grateful to them for what he had done despite the silence that had settled between them since his departure for the army, and could not imagine letting them live without a penny after sacrificing themselves for him.

It had been difficult for Fiona to accept this money, and Ian had to act discreetly so as not to let her find out that he had to borrow some cash to cover the entire payment, as his savings were not enough.

* - * - *

Ian put the last things he had left in his bag. It was the last time he saw this military base and unlike what he could have imagined, he had no regrets.

All of his personal belongings had been bundled in boxes in a warehouse room near his old room, and if that wasn't enough to make him realize that he was no longer wanted here, the look that some of his former colleagues landed on him, quickly made him realize that his life would never be in the army again.

In the eyes of the law, he had been discharged, but in the eyes of his peers, he would forever be a traitor.

"You didn't even tell me you came back..."

Ian turned to the door and saw Tyler leaning against the wall. Even if he had intended to break up with him after he left on a mission, Mickey's presence had completely made him forget the very existence of this man.

“Sorry, I just came back to get my things.”

"So it's true? You are fired?"

“Yep.”

"What has happened? And what about this stupid story of mental illness?"

Ian was silent for a moment, watching Tyler. He couldn't remember what made him move closer to this man. In comparison to Mickey, he was nothing.

He had never seen fit to tell him about his bipolarity or anything else about his personal life.

He resisted for a moment the idea of unpacking the truth to the man he already considered to be his ex-boyfriend before finally deciding that he was risking nothing by unpacking him now that the courts had found him not guilty.

"I worked in liaison with the FBI but I couldn't get the information they wanted. They didn't believe me and figured that I had withheld information and to punish me they got me kicked out of the army. I'm sure if they could they would have done worse. "

“Fuck! It's not fair-"

“And since you want to broach this subject… It turns out that I am bipolar. Army doctors discovered it a few years ago, but I didn't see the point in telling you about it. "

"Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?!? Isn't that contagious at least? Did you think of us at least before you turned against the army?!? How are we going to see each other now after all this? ”

“Tyler. There is no us. I’ve just loved a single guy in my life and it was definitely not you. "

The sound of a resounding slap fills the whole room.

“Asshole!” Tyler growled before leaving the room leaving Ian alone with the silence and pain he felt now on his cheek.

Ian just sighed and grabbed his bag to leave. Compared to what he felt, this slap did nothing to him. He would rather have received a thousand slaps rather than suffer the absence of Mickey as he would have to do for the rest of his life.

*-*-*

Ian smiled sadly as he watched the news. In recent months, the FBI had made several coordinated raids on several drug labs and hideouts of all kinds.

They had managed to get hold of very compromising elements and were now preparing to arrest the man behind it.

Ian made fun of the grimace that appeared on the face of the man he had met in the FBI offices. He spoke to the press to present the findings of their investigation but did not seem to appreciate what he was about to say.

Even if the press and the authorities presented this affair as a huge success, Ian knew that nothing that they would announce this evening would be close to the truth.

He knew Mickey was far too smart to get caught that easily. If that had been the case, he could never have been acquitted during his trial. He was sure neither the military nor the FBI had any evidence against Mickey or his family.

Andrew Mayers, a wealthy businessman from Chicago, was presented to the press as the man in charge of the criminal organization dismantled by the FBI.

Ian smiled, thinking back to Svetlana's words the day he left the house. She promised him that Mickey would be safe and that he would do anything to make the man who attacked their family pay.

It didn't take long for him to realize that the man on the news and the one who ordered them to attack them in the hospital. He also relished the idea that the one who attacked Yev would rot for the rest of his life behind bars.

Ian wasn't sure how Svetlana had achieved such a feat, but what he did know was that he was glad that Mickey was out of danger.

He didn't know where he was and had promised Svet not to try to contact him, but knowing that he was safe was enough.

At least he hoped it would be enough.

Colin's death was quickly mentioned in the account of the case, but it was as quickly forgotten by all, as an insignificant detail compared to the impact of Mayers' arrest and the discovery of all the trafficking for which he was responsible.

Ian had never been close to Colin, and the little time they had spent together recently hadn't really helped the two get closer. However, he felt tears come to his eyes every time he thought of himself and the tragic end he had known.

Colin had been cremated and his ashes had been stored with all the other victims not claimed by their families.

Although he was initially denied access because he had no connection with the deceased. Ian had managed to corrupt one of the employees and recover the young man's ashes.

Even if they hadn't left on good terms, he couldn't imagine letting such an injustice unfold before his eyes. Colin was a human being deserving of as much respect as the others, and since his fault his family could not be there to pay tribute to him, he would do it.

* - * - *

Going back to live with your brothers and sisters after so many separate years was an ordeal.

He would be eternally grateful for what they had done for him, but after so many years of living on his own, he felt like he was suffocating with so many people and attention around him.

Fiona and Lip had a hard time accepting Ian's money and also seemed to question each of his decisions as if they remained convinced that his illness was responsible for everything that had happened to him and that it still guided his steps today.

Even though their attention and everything they had done for him touched him in the heart, he knew he couldn't stay with them any longer.

Ian tried to find a job to be able to leave this house as soon as possible, which he knew would end up driving him mad, but he was unfortunately refused all the positions he applied for, even after very promising interviews.

The most recent interview made him realize that he would never be able to work directly or indirectly with the security field.

Even though the appointment with the recruiter had gone well, he had been called back to be refused the position. Unable to understand all of these refusals, he visited the company premises again and managed to speak with one of the employees.

A high-ranking person contacted the company to prevent them from hiring him. Ian was unable to know if it was the military or the FBI, but he was convinced that all other positions had been denied for the same reason.

Ian had felt hatred build up inside him in front of such an injustice, however, he managed to keep calm by thinking about all that he had lost in recent months, and what he could still lose if he acted in a manner thoughtless.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian's death, having to forgive Svetlana, forcing himself to continue his life, so many things that Mickey has to face, for his son

Ian's death followed by Colin's had plunged Mickey in immense despair. For many months he had drowned his grief in alcohol and drugs, until his body let go of him and he woke up in a hospital room, with Yev at his bedside.

His son's face had seemed so emaciated and terrified that he felt compelled to relearn how to live despite the brutality of what he had just endured.

It took him another month to fully recover and manage to sleep normally.

He was grateful to Iggy and Mandy for continuing to manage their affairs during these painful moments.  
He also knew that Svetlana had helped them, but he didn't want to talk about her, or even think about her.

The only reason he hadn't killed her was the same reason that now makes him get up every day, Yev.

Luck and prudence had pushed them years before to create several dormant companies, similar to those which allowed them to manage their traffic in Chicago, but this time outside the United States.

These structures and the money they still had quickly enabled them to regain control of many of the traffics around them. However, even with these technical means, regaining control over people present on this territory for generations was not the easiest thing.

* - * - *

Mickey agreed to let Svetlana return home a little over a year after their arrival.  
She had shown him allegiance more than once during this time, and even though he would never forgive her for what she had done, he couldn't keep her away from their son forever.

Rather than trying to get their hands on all the traffic in the area as they had done in Chicago, Mickey decided to specialize and widen his area of influence to the maximum by creating alliances with several other local organizations.

Even if he did know, returning to the US was out of reach, having never been charged, it wasn't impossible for them to legally travel the world.

He made his first trip a year to the day after Ian died and did the same a year later and the following year again.

He knew that Mandy and Iggy hated seeing him disappear like that without knowing where he was going or even hearing from him, but he couldn't accept the idea of staying with them on this anniversary and even less near Svetlana.

The first year, Mickey decided to travel to Ukraine. He had had a little trouble communicating with the locals, his Ukrainian being a little rusty, but he wanted to make this trip for his brother and for him.

He needed to get away from it to recharge his batteries and give free rein to the sadness that still weighed down his heart.

He had stayed in a small chalet in the middle of nowhere and had just spent his days walking in nature until his legs no longer wanted to support him.

He was convinced that he had passed for a madman with the people who had met 1him during his marches. It must not have been very usual for them to come across a stranger walking aimlessly while speaking in a vacuum, because yes all this time Mickey was speaking aloud, hoping that his words would reach Ian and Colin wherever they were.

He was talking to them about what had happened in the years when they had been separated, what had happened since their death and how he was feeling.

The second year, Mickey chose to go to an island off the coast of Thailand.

He remained locked up every day, unable to walk in this sun without having his skin immediately burned.  
The mild night was his only respite. He spent his evenings sitting on the beach contemplating the ocean while talking to the man he missed so much.

Several times he was tempted to walk to the sea and stop no more, just as he had been tempted many times in recent years by the idea of ending his life.

If he had refused to follow this idea which tempted him so much, it was once again for Yev, and also for Mandy and Iggy.  
He didn't want to give up on them and knew that was what would keep him going.

* - * - *

Mickey was still sad when he returned from his travels, and Yev seemed to have noticed it. So that the young boy, wanting to help his father to cheer up had planned several outings for the day of his return.

Mickey had initially refused to focus on the delay he had taken in the management of his affairs during his absence, but Iggy had managed to convince him to give himself another day of respite.

He couldn't help but smile when he saw his son trying, by all means, to make him smile and thanked Heaven for having resisted the temptation to end his life.

Yev had a huge smile on his way out of the cinema. He dragged his father to see the latest superhero film and was so engrossed in the film that he hadn't even noticed his father's utter lack of interest in what Mickey already considered the worst movie in all the time.

Mickey smirked when he saw his son imitating the last fight scenes in the film. Seeing him so happy was definitely what made him want to keep going.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and took it out to see who had sent him a message. His face tightened a little when she saw Svetlana's name on the screen.

She just informed him of the progress of a deal she was planning for next week.

Although he knew he would never like the idea of being around Svetlana at home and at work, he could not deny her skills.

Too busy on his phone, he ignored Yev and the expression that had just appeared on his face.

He didn't focus on the young man until a familiar name came to his ears.

"Ian- I'm sure it was Ian." Yev affirmed, advancing quickly towards the exit of the cinema.

Micke caught him just in time before he crossed the road.

“Yev! What are you doing?!? You want to die?!? ”

The boy stared at his father for a moment before looking back at the road and pointing to the sidewalk on the other side.

“But there was Ian. I wanted to go say hi. ”

Mickey no longer knew how to react. He was worried that something tragic could happen to his son, but hearing him say something about a man he missed every day, confused his feelings.

“You must never cross the road-”

“But there was Ian-”

“Yev listen to me-”

“But Ian-”

“Ian is dead! You know it very well! Ian will not come back! It wasn't him!" He groaned, shaking the boy.

Yev started to cry and pushed him violently causing him to fall to the ground.  
The impact made Mickey realize what he had just done.

"Sorry." He affirmed panicked by taking Yev in his arms.

"Sorry." He repeated again.

"I just wanted to see Ian ..." Yev promised, clutching his father.

"I know ... but you should never cross roads like that, it's too dangerous..."

Mickey put a little distance between him and his son and wiped the tears that had run down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, but you won't be able to see Ian again... He's gone very far. I too would like to see him again. ”

Yev stared at his father and raised his hand to his face to wipe away one of the tears that Mickey had dropped.

He wasn’t the type to cry, let alone in the middle of the street with everyone watching him, but he couldn't help it.

"I liked Ian ... And then you were happy when he was there." Timidly asserted Yev.

Mickey gently stroked his son's head before standing up and offering to come back. Yev nodded and wisely followed his father.

It took Mickey all of his willpower not to crack after such words.

His son thought he looked happier with Ian. However, when he saw each other again, Mickey had only tried to break Ian to take revenge on their common past. It was impossible that with so much hatred in him he could appear happy for even a short moment.


	13. Chapter 13

Ian couldn't hide the sad little smile that appeared on his face as he left the cinema.

Seeing this young boy who looked so much like Yev so lively and cheerful gave him hope that it would be the same for young Milkovich.

He hadn't been able to see his face and hadn't tried to, but something reminded him of that child he hoped to see again someday even if this idea terrorized him.

He knew that if he saw Yev again one day he would not be able to escape Mickey and that he would be forced to face these actions and the consequences thereof.

However, he still hoped to be able to see Mickey again, if only to return Colin's ashes to him.

He had kept them preciously, hoping to be able to return them to his family. More than once he had thought of freeing himself from this task and dispersing them, but never had he felt himself legitimate enough to do so.

He and Colin had never been close and it was clear to them that they did not like each other, and that they would surely never like each other, provided Ian wanted the memory of the latter to be respected and for this to do he had to wait and hope to be able to return these ashes to Mickey and his family.

"What makes you smile like that?"

Ian quickly turned his head towards the woman next to him.

He tried not to immediately erase the smile he was showing by remembering her presence by his side.

Eleanor was a perfect young woman at first glance, but once you scratched the surface you noticed a whole other person beneath that layer of false kindness.

If everyone saw her as a seasoned and honest politician, she was actually working closely with local cartels to secure a sufficient income for her extravagant tastes in shopping, also agreeing to turn a blind eye to thefts, kidnapping, and the murders committed before her eyes.

Ian hadn't come across Eleanor by pure chance, but on the contrary with a specific idea in mind, to bring her down and somehow make this world safer.

Even though he could no longer return to the military, Ian could not give up his desire to help the people around him, so he had chosen to do it differently.

Eleanor was his third target since leaving the military. Before her, there was Shawn and Vicky.

Shawn was a Chicago businessman a little too interested in young girls, and Vicky a professional scammer robbing all of Detroit's poorest families.

None of these three looked like the people he had attacked during his years in the military, but he knew that without them the world would certainly be more beautiful.

Killing them would certainly have been a more pragmatic way of dealing with it, but he couldn't do it. He wanted to do it right.

Getting to Eleanor was both extremely simple and complicated for him. The young woman had not tried to hide the least bit of her interest in him when they first met, but agreeing to be so close to her was a constant battle, especially since she did not Still didn't give up on the idea of having him in bed.

Ian in no way wanted to talk about Yev to Eleanor. However, he had to find an answer to her question.

He finally decided to stick to the truth, without giving her more details than necessary.

"He reminds me of a young boy I knew a long time ago ..." He said with a slightly more assertive but much more false smile.

"Someone from your family?"

"No, a friend's son."

Ian felt his heart tighten a little more when he thought about Mickey but he tried not to let anything show through. He tried to cut short this discussion as quickly as possible by offering Eleanor to continue their day around a good meal in her favorite restaurant.

Ian knew that if he let Eleanor decide what to do next she would make him come home or wherever they would be alone.

He did not know if he would succeed in carrying out the mission he had given himself without having to give of himself but hoped with all his heart not to have to reach such extremes.

He hadn't slept with anyone since his separation from Mickey and couldn't see himself changed that much sooner for a woman.

* - * - *

Even if his strategy was loose and immeasurably mean in his eyes, Ian did not really regret his choice.

Eleanor was a woman who held alcohol very well, but like everyone else was much more reactive to GHB than Ian had put in her glass, than to alcohol.

Eleanor's second state had allowed her to retrieve valuable information while being certain that she would not have to end the evening with him.

With the new evidence he had just obtained, he was fast approaching the fateful moment when he could uncover the true identity of this woman.

Even if he would send all the evidence to the police, he knew that what he had learned could not be withheld at trial.

Having no legal power, he should simply content himself with making everything public and hope that the justice system finds new evidence to definitively prevent him from harming anyone.

Ian was about to walk past the man leaning against the apartment he was renting without paying any attention, but the same man stopped him by gripping his wrist.

In a fraction of a second, he turned around and got rid of the stranger's grip before freezing in place.

The stranger was not one. On the contrary, he knew him only too well.

“Tyler? What are you doing here?!?"

A big smug smile appeared on Tyler's face.

"I was around, and I thought I was going to pass."

"You are spying on me?!? How did you know where I was? "

"Ian… I'm in the army, do you really think someone like you could escape me?"

Ian had trouble understanding the anger he felt in the voice and the look of the man in front of him. Admittedly, his relationship with Tyler had not ended in the best way, but there was no more reason for him to do so.

"What are you doing here?" Growled Ian again, more and more annoyed by Tyler's behavior.

"I happen to be on a mission around here ... and I thought I might come to you for a chat."

“About what?!?”

“About your taste for criminals for example…”

Tyler let out a satisfied chuckle and got closer to Ian before adding.

“I'm not talking about Eleanor or even Shawn or Vicky-”

"How? What-"

"I told you, Ian! You can't hide anything from me! I know everything."

"Everything?" Just asked Ian before he felt anger take hold of him.

"You know everything and yet you did nothing?!? None of you did anything?!? People were suffering- ”

“The army must follow the laws! She’s not acting like you, like a criminal! Don't even try to pass yourself off as a hero in front of me! I know very well that if you approach them it's for something else! I know your kink has been the criminals for a long time. I know everything about Milkovich!”

Ian stopped when he heard Tyler say Mickey’s name. He hadn't told him anything about him, and couldn't see why anyone else would, but now Tyler's aggressiveness seemed more logical to him.

The anger he displayed on his face seemed to delight Tyler whose smile grew even more.

"I even know where he is."

Hearing Tyler's words, Ian felt like the ground was hiding under his feet. The very idea that Tyler could know where Mickey was was terrorizing him. If he knew where he was, there was no reason for his superiors to ignore him.

"It's really fun! I could destroy your life so easily. It could go find your new girlfriend to tell her that you were in the army, that you are gay, or... Report Milkovich to the local authorities- ”

"If you come near him I kill you!" Promised Ian by grabbing Tyler's throat before he could even finish his sentence.

"Watch me." He said his voice muffled by the pressure on his throat.

He threw his knee against Ian's belly and took advantage of this short moment of inattention to escape him and run away out of reach.

Left alone, Ian collapsed to the ground, his legs trembling, unable to carry him any longer.

If Tyler hadn't lied, Mickey was in this city, so close to him, and he was in danger.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Svetlana's behavior is increasingly strange, to the point of pushing Mickey to follow her.

Mickey was always prepared to be arrested, but he never thought it would be for such a stupid and illogical reason.

The cop who arrested him claimed that the car he was driving, his own car, had been declared stolen.

He had brought him back to the station to investigate further, without allowing Mickey to warn anyone of his situation.

Even though this arrest was all a joke, Mickey took it very seriously.

There was little chance that it was purely a mistake, so it meant that someone had voluntarily wanted to have him arrested.

He knew that by playing a bit of bad luck he would attract the attention of the police, which would delve a little deeper into his past and would soon find reasons to keep him longer.

He was confident that they would not find evidence, especially not as quickly especially since the American authorities had never found anything against him. However, even without evidence, they were quite able to put him some sticks in the wheels and update some of its activities, hitherto well hidden.

He tried again to get the attention of a police officer when he passed the cell where he was being kept.

Unlike the others, and to Mickey's amazement, the policeman stopped in front of him instead of just ignoring his calls like all his colleagues.

"You are free. Your lawyer has just demonstrated that the car is yours. We are sorry for this mistake. ”

Mickey had a hard time understanding what had happened, but he was probably not going to stay around waiting to understand.

He remained silent until the police led him out of the police station where his lawyer was waiting for him.

"What's happened?" Growled Mickey as soon as they were alone.

"Your wife has warned me that you are in detention. Looks like someone reported your car as stolen- ”

"Who?!?" Asked Mickey, preferring to put aside the information for the moment that Svet had learned about his incarceration even when he was not allowed at least a phone call.

"Unfortunately I don't have this information." The lawyer, calmly accustomed to dealing with Mickey and his impulsive nature, replied calmly.

“Find out who it is. I'm sure this isn't an error but an intentional maneuver."

He left his lawyer, more eager than ever to go home, hoping that a quiet family evening and a good bottle would help calm him down.

Even though the fact that Svetlana learned about his arrest was strange, she had enough spies working all over the city to have known about his arrest before he even entered the police station.

* - * - *

Even if Svetlana seemed reassured to know that he was out, she did not seem worried as she should be.

She was the one who warned his lawyer, but she didn't tell him on how she learned of the arrest, simply claiming, as he had imagined, that she had been contacted by one of their indic.

The young woman's attitude disturbs him, and his suspicion grew during the evening and when she got up to leave them he could not suppress his desire to follow her and find out what she was hiding from him.

She had stopped in front of a small apartment building and had called someone before they opened the front door for her.

Tracking her inside was impossible without being noticed, and from where he was he couldn't see the interior of the apartments.

Now desperate to find out what she was up to, he walked over to the apartment building on the other side of the street, which luckily seemed abandoned.

It didn't take long to pick the lock on the main door and break into the building.

He quickly climbed to the second floor and stood in front of a window overlooking the building opposite.

It only took a few seconds to spot Svet.

She was facing him but seemed far too busy hugging the man she came to find to notice his presence.

Mickey felt stupid for letting his mind wander as well when the reason for Svetlana's behavior was ultimately something so stupid. With what had happened during the day, coming to join this stranger put her in much more danger than necessary.

He was going to turn around when something inside him stopped him.

There was nothing rational about his reaction, and he could hardly say it out loud without laughing at himself, but the man he only saw from behind seemed so familiar to him.

He knew he could recognize this man anywhere, but that there was no way he was really there in front of him.

He collapsed to the ground, his legs unable to support him any longer, and grabbed the window sill in the hope of straightening up.

But before he could drag himself to the window again, Svet and the man he thought he would never see again, came out of the apartment.

He wanted to imitate them so that he could confirm his intuition by confronting them at the exit of the building, but he had to make up his mind when he was trembling, his legs refused to carry him.

* - * - *

Miraculously, Mickey had managed to get home.

It had taken him long minutes before he could even get up and even longer before his hands stopped to shake and he could drive without risking his life at any time.

He knew he could have found Svetlana by having her searched all over the city by their minions, but even if he didn't understand the whole situation, he knew he needed to act skillfully if he didn't want to risk losing everything.

If his mind hadn't played a trick on him, and he was praying to heaven that it wouldn't be, Ian was still alive and so close to him. But it put so much into question that he could hardly believe it even after seeing it with his own eyes. His guts told him he was right, but his brain still made him doubt that this was all real.

He couldn't figure out what was going on but was planning to clear this up.

In the hope of calming down a little, he poured himself a glass of whiskey but put it down before he even dipped his lips, convinced that he would need all his reason to find out the truth.

Waiting for Svetlana's return seemed to him an interminable ordeal. And it was not until dawn that the young woman finally walked in the door.

She stopped dead when she saw him standing in front of her, his back leaning against a wall.

“We need to talk.” He said as he walked over to her.

He walked around it and left the house, taking the direction of the guest house, without bothering to check for her presence behind him.

He held the front door for her and closed it brutally behind her, isolating them definitively from the other members of the Milkovich family.

"I'm only going to ask the question once don't even try to lie to me... Is Ian alive?"

Mickey could see astonishment giving way to fear in Svet's eyes before being replaced by a completely different expression. She looked cold and calm, staring him straight in the eye.

He approached her without looking away, clenching his fists to keep control of his body. He knew that if she didn't speak very quickly, he would be able to attack her.

"Answer me." He groaned once he got a few inches from the young woman.

"I know you. If you ask the question, you already know the answer. ”

Mickey took a deep breath before affirming.

"I want to hear it!"

"He is alive."

Even though he already knew what she was going to say and hoped with all his heart, hearing these words come out of her mouth made the facts so much more true that Mickey was lost.

He had hated Svetlana when she claimed to have killed Ian, and he now hated her for having deprived him in another way.

"You can't go to see him."

Svet's dry assertion brought Mickey back to reality.

"What?!?"

"It's too dangerous. If you approach him, you will be in danger and so will he. You don't want this. ”

"Why would he be in danger?!? ” Growled Mickey without paying the slightest attention to the danger supposed to concern him.

Svetlana didn't seem at first determined to speak, but the pressure that Mickey exerted on her arm finally made him change her mind.

“Ian knows who made you arrested. He did this to hurt him and if you approach Ian he will use you against him- ”

"Who is this guy?!?"

“Let me go and I tell you!” She promised, wincing in pain.

Mickey stared at her contemptuously before finally letting go of her, promising him all the same that if she didn't tell him the whole truth she would bitterly regret it.

Svetlana massaged her arm for a few moments before heading to the living room, followed closely by Mickey.

She grabbed the bottle of scotch from the sideboard and two glasses and placed them on the coffee table.

She settled on the couch, generously served a glass to each of them and handed his to Mickey.

He grabbed it violently, overflowing a good amount of the liquid before bringing it to his lips and swallowing it in one go.

"Tell me everything you know."

Svetlana sighed a long time and took a sip from her glass before placing it in front of her and explaining.

“Ian explained everything to us that day. He admitted to us that he was still working for the military and that because of your special connection, the FBI had used him to obtain information. We all knew They would arrest us if we stayed, so we decided to leave. We always knew it would happen and we had everything planned for... The only problem was Ian. We knew you wouldn't leave him, so we imagined this scenario. ”

"You made me believe you killed him-"

"It was the most realistic scenario. The only real reason that kept me from it was that he saved Yev. We all knew that otherwise, you would have stayed. Even Colin agreed with us. ”

"Don't use my brother against me!" Growled Mickey, tightening his fingers a little more around his glass.

He hated the idea of being manipulated in this way and being removed from Ian.

"Colin didn't like Ian, and Ian didn't like him either. But they both loved you and that's why they agreed to do it. "

Mickey wanted to scream, ask if it was worth it if they had liked to see him suffer like this, but he remained silent, now knowing that he could not speak without bursting into tears.

“Ian knew he couldn't follow us without putting us in even more danger. He planned to confuse his superiors as much as possible to give us enough time to leave. But they didn't believe him which cost Colin his life... "

Mickey looked away when Svetlana looked up at him. He didn't want her to perceive the tears that were starting to run down his cheeks.

She seemed to understand his intention and looked away too to focus on the glass in front of her.

“After we left I lost track of Ian. I learned later that he had been arrested."

Mickey's eyes widened, scared of imagining what Ian had suffered. He was about to ask Svetlana for more information when the young woman continued on her own.

“He was able to get out of there thanks to a lawyer paid by his siblings. But after that, he could no longer work in the army. They want to make him regret his choices. ”

"Have you been watching him all this time?" Mickey asked, his voice hoarse with emotion.

Svet nodded.

"I wanted to be sure he was fine. I sent him a letter with my number... But he had never used it until now, so much so that I thought he had lost it. He saved Yev and was important to you and Mandy… ”

“Mandy knew-”

"No! Neither Mandy nor Iggy knew where he was. They just knew he was alive. " She promised, looking up at him.

Mickey felt the sincerity in her voice, but also panic. Like she was afraid he might take it out on them. Normally he never would have, but at that moment he didn't know what to think.

"Mandy said she didn't want to know so she wouldn't be tempted to look for him. And Iggy didn't want to either.

Mickey stayed a few moments staring at her without her daring to raise her head. He grabbed the bottle from the base table and brought it to his lips. He emptied much of it and didn't stop until he was out of breath.

"You said the guy who locked me up is near Ian?" He questioned, catching his breath.

He knew he had to focus on the present if he didn't want to risk doing things he would definitely regret.

"He’s his ex. He was with him in the army and left him after returning from his mission. He shouldn't have supported very well their breakup because he found Ian after learning about the two of you and made sure you were arrested. Ian thinks he plan do worse if- "

"I'm not afraid of this guy."

“It's not just him. There are also other people around Ian. ”

“What other people?”

"Ian has approached some pretty dangerous people. He tried to keep them from harming, but if you approach them he'll lose control of the situation. "

"Who?!?"

“Eleanor Shellstrop. She is a crooked politician. She and her team often work with cartels. And Ian targeted them.”

"Why?!?"

“I guess he misses his old job… He has done the same thing with two other people before. A crook and a pedophile. ”

She stopped for a moment before adding.

"You want revenge?"

Mickey looked at her surprised, unable to understand her question.

"Do you want revenge because when he approached you he was on mission?"

"I don't care about that- ”

“So leave him alone. He made his choice. If you approach him you will endanger everyone. ” She affirmed a dark look on Mickey.

"I have let him go far too often to make the same mistake again. And this time no one could stop me from getting him back. ”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian knew Mickey was close to him, but nothing could have prepared him to see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so someone understood the ref behind Eleanor... （⌒▽⌒） But does someone also notice Shawn and Vicky? (I needed names and I was watching a lot of "the good place" episodes at the time)

Seeing Svetlana after so many years had turned Ian upside down.

When he got home he was still in tears, terrified that Mickey was still locked up by his fault.

He had resisted all these years not to use the number she had given, keeping it preciously with him as the last proof of his link with Mickey. But when the latter was in danger, he could not resist.

She reassured him and insisted on staying with him until he got better.

Leaving his apartment to get some fresh air seemed to them the best option. They had quickly driven out of town to be sure they were not recognized by anyone and had spent the whole night talking.

Ian had asked her to tell him all about what had happened to them since leaving Chicago.

He knew it might make him want to see Mickey even more, and maybe, even more, regret that he hadn't been with him during that time, but he couldn't resist the temptation.

He had explained the situation with Eleanor and tried to make her understand the reasons for his actions.

She still didn't seem reassured when he left her that evening, but his explanations seemed to have made her understand his situation.

It was amazing to see the evolution of their relationship after all that had happened between them. They both knew that they loved the same people and that they only wanted their happiness which in the end could only bring them together despite their past.

* - * - *

Ian had asked Svetlana to investigate Tyler and his presence there. He knew that now that he was no longer in the military he no longer had too much of a way to find this kind of information, but that she could.

He hoped to hear quickly from her, he couldn't get this out of his mind that while he was there Mickey was in danger. And continuing the mission that he had set himself, with this idea in mind was impossible.

Eleanor quickly seemed to notice the tension in him and offered to help him relax, something that made him tense all the more. 

He barely managed to dodge the proposal and drag her to a restaurant where it would be much more difficult for her to jump on him.

He hoped to be able to repeat his plan of the previous day by drugging the young woman to extract some more information.

He was still not proud of what he was doing but did not want to back down for a simple moral problem.

In his eyes, he had done much worse and it was not this detail that was going to stop him, especially considering all the things for which this woman was responsible.

He put his hand on Eleanor's, hoping to capture her attention long enough to add the drugs to her glass. But his gaze was caught by the man behind her.

He felt his hands go sweaty and his heartbeat accelerated to an untenable rate.

"Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom, I'm coming back." He mumbled as he stood up hoping that his legs would not betray him by letting him fall in place.

He quickly locked himself in one of the boxes in the men's toilet and pressed his back against the door. He closed his eyes and tried to regain consciousness.

All this could only be a dream, a hallucination.

There was no way he was there, so close to him.

Ian tried to calm down and regain normal breathing, but the little knock on the door behind him prevented him.

Without even hearing the slightest sound, he knew that Mickey was behind the door. He knew this perfume by heart as he had haunted his dreams.

"Open." He ordered softly.

Ian remained silent, forcing Mickey to repeat his request before finally answering him.

"leave!"

"Why?"

There was no aggressiveness in his voice, yet Ian felt his whole body flinch.

"You have to leave." He simply repeated.

There was silence in the room as if none of them could find the words to describe what they were feeling.

"I won't let you go." Finally promised Mickey before leaving Ian alone in the room.

* - * - *

Ian had only left the bathroom after making sure he had regained control of his body.

He tried to regain his composure before reaching their table, but stopped dead, noting that Eleanor was no longer alone.

She laughed happily at Mickey, placing her hand on his.

The two of them didn't stop talking until Ian sat down in his place and Mickey turned to greet him.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your date. I noticed the presence of this charming person in this restaurant and I couldn't help but come to greet her.”

Mickey turned to Eleanor and added.

“It's been a while since I wanted to meet you. You are said to be a formidable businesswoman, and I like that. ”

Eleanor giggled at the compliment more and ran her hand up along Mickey's arm.

Ian couldn't suppress a groan, which fortunately Eleanor interpreted as a mark of jealousy to her advantage.

"I'm sorry, my friend here is very sensitive when a man approaches me." She said amused.

"I can understand..."

Ian no longer knew what to focus on, so much happening before his eyes.

“I don't want to interrupt your meeting any longer… Could I come to visit you tomorrow? In this way, we will be better able to speak business. ”

Eleanor nodded, displaying a satisfied smile.

"This would be perfect, I am organizing a small diner tomorrow, you are of course welcome."

She put her hand on Ian's.

"Don't worry, it's only for work ..."

* - * - *

Ian grabbed the edge of the sink, fixing his gaze in the mirror and trying to calm his mind as much as possible.

He didn't understand how something like that could have happened and why Mickey hadn't been more surprised to see him again.

Svetlana had promised not to tell Mickey about his presence in this city, and he didn't see her breaking her promise.

He tried to focus as much as he could on his breathing, closing his eyes to clear his mind.

Unfortunately, he couldn't calm his thoughts for more than a few seconds before Mickey invaded his thoughts again..

He got out of his bathroom and grabbed a pair of jogging pants and a t-shirt, which he put on before running, hoping that exercise would calm him down a bit.

* - * - *

Returning drenched in sweat to his apartment, Ian grabbed his phone and called the only number in his directory.

He had deleted all traces of his brothers and sisters from his phone for security reasons and only kept the contact of the psychologist he had been forced to see following his last depressive crisis.

He had sympathized with this man, surely much more than the medical profession actually authorized. Ian knew that this new friendship he had created with this man was the backbone of his new life and his sanity.

He knew how to listen to him, take the time to advise him, and alert him as soon as his behavior was out of the norm.

He was the only one Ian had told about his new life. And he was also partly behind it.

Marc was a man who had grown up like him in a poor Chicago neighborhood and who had faced a lot of problems.

He was born in a body that was not his and fought to get there.

However, not everyone had accepted his choice and Marc's mother and uncle regularly tried to take it out on him.

Marc had managed to escape each time before the worst happened to him, but lived in fear of being found by his family.

Aware of his situation, and of the similarity between this and the one through which Mickey went, Ian had taken action and had made Marc's family understand radically that he was no longer alone in front of them and that some bloody reprisals would take place if they again attacked him.

In a way, helping Marc had been like partially repairing the harm he had done to Mickey by abandoning him when they were young.

He then realized that other people like Mickey and Marc also needed help in this world. And it was then his mission to help them, hoping in a way to redeem himself in the eyes of Mickey, but above all to succeed in forgiving himself.

* - * - *

Chatting with Marc had helped him. His friend had prescribed him a new dosage of medication to deal with his problems and a lot of rest.

They both knew that Ian would only partially follow his recommendations, but they both hoped that it was enough to keep him going long enough.

Even after his discussion with Marc, Ian remained terrified of seeing Mickey again, but still more terrified of leaving him alone with Eleanor.

He knew Mickey stopped loving him a long time ago, and knew that he could reveal everything to Eleanor, but was not afraid that he would talk about it. He knew that Eleanor was a dangerous woman and that even if Mickey was able to defend himself, it could be dangerous for Mickey to stay near her.

Ian did not understand why Mickey would have approached him for any reason other than revenge, there was no other possibility for him. At least not after all he had gone through. Not after Colin's death.

He hadn't wanted to raise the subject with Svetlana and she also had been elusive about the resentment that Mickey might have towards him.

No longer resisting the temptation, he decided to join Eleanor at her house before Mickey went there.

He knew it was dangerous to see him, but he also knew he couldn't bear to be in the unknown.

* - * - *

Ian noticed the closed expression that Iggy was showing upon arriving at Eleanor's. This one was all the more highlighted as Mickey displayed a big smile.

Eleanor gave them a tour of her house before offering to go to the living room for a drink while dinner was prepared.

Ian watched forbidden Mickey chat and laugh with Eleanor as if nothing had happened, and couldn't stand it any longer decided to get up to get some fresh air.

“Please excuse me for a moment.” He mumbled before leaving the room.

He didn't stop until he could no longer hear the voices of Eleanor and Mickey and took a deep breath.

Mickey seemed unaffected by his presence, while he felt unable to look at him without his heart exploding.

He felt a hand grip his wrist and before he could do anything, drew him into a room next to him.

Mickey clapped his hand over his mouth, beckoning him to shut up.

"I told them I had a call to make." He said in a low voice.

He gently withdrew his hand, his gaze fixed on Ian's lips.

The young Gallagher could have sworn that Mickey was going to kiss him, but he didn't do anything about it.

"I know why you're here, and you have to stop before it becomes too dangerous." Mickey ordered.

"How-"

“Svet told me everything. Or at least she told me what you do, not why..."

Ian walked away from Mickey, hoping that the distance would help put his mind in order.

"Why are you here?" Timidly asked Ian.

Mickey looked at him silently for a few moments before slowly approaching and placing his lips on his in a tender kiss.

"If I'm here, it's to recover what belongs to me. And I warn you, this time I wouldn’t let anyone, even you, stop me." promised Mickey hoarsely.

Ian began to tremble under Mickey's voice and tried to ask.

"But I have- It's my fault if-"

Mickey forced him to silence, sticking their mouths together again.

"I don't care what happened. I thought I lost you and hated the whole world for that, myself included. Now that I've found you, I don't plan on letting you go. ”

Ian gripped Mickey's collar and kissed him passionately and possessively, trying to make up for all the kisses they hadn't been able to exchange.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey knew he could be betrayed at any time, but he never imagined he would be betrayed by this person

Hearing footsteps in the hallway, Mickey grabbed Ian's arm and pulled him with him against the wall. It was too late to close the door, there was only hope that no one would come in and surprise them.

“Mic-”

"Shut up!" Growled Mickey, trying to control his voice.

He couldn't explain why he was in this room with Ian and hiding was the only option they had.

Mickey pressed Ian a little more against him, hoping that none of them would be noticed. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice the door ajar.

"We're alone, so tell me what you have to say." Growled a woman who Mickey immediately recognized as Eleanor.

It took him even less time to recognize the voice of the man who answered her so much he knew it by heart.

"If Ian approached you, it was to get you arrested."

"You want me to believe that Ian is a cop?!?"

"Not a cop, at least not anymore, but it didn't stop him from ruining the lives of the last people he worked with by drawing the attention of the cops to them."

Mickey could feel hatred in Iggy's voice. He didn't understand why his brother decided to betray Ian as well, to betray him by revealing Ian's past to Eleanor.

He felt Ian tremble against him and pressed his hands a little more against his back hoping to calm him down.

He struggled not to explode with rage and struggled not to go out and smash his brother until he told him everything.

They didn’t have to wait long before they were alone again.

“Don't think I'm going to believe you so easily!”

"Do what you want. I've warned you." Said Iggy leaving the corridor quickly followed by the young woman.

Mickey waited a few minutes silently before peeling off the wall.

"You are leaving with me." Mickey ordered, getting up.

Ian motioned him no.

"I can't. If I leave she will understand-"

"And if you stay she will kill you." Growled Mickey before realizing that his voice had echoed throughout the room.

He hoped no one had noticed and looked Ian in the eye as he added.

“If you stay you will be in danger. Come with me. If you go alone she will have doubts, but not if you go with me. ”

“I have to-”

“Have to what?!? Finish dropping her?!? What is the most important? That or to be safe. "

Mickey winced at Ian's silence. He would never have thought that the young man could put himself in such danger for the good of the mission he had set for himself.

"What is most important Ian? This stupid mission, or me? Because if you stay here you're sure to suffer and make me suffer at the same time. ” Affirmed Mickey hoping it would put the situation in perspective, silently praying that Ian would choose him.

Panic appeared on Ian's face, and Mickey walked over to him to put his hand on his cheek.

"Ian, we both know that this situation is not good for you. This stress is not good for you, I don't even know how you managed to hold on so far without ruining your treatment. ”

Ian seemed to hesitate for a few more moments, but he finally nodded gently and grabbed Mickey's top to pull him to him.

Mickey kissed his lips quickly, not resisting the urge to reassure him despite the place he was in.

He got out of the room first and motioned for Ian to follow after checking that no one was there.

They quickly separated before finding themselves again in the dining room.

The smile had regained Ian's face, reassuring Mickey a little about his condition. He knew it was a fake smile, but it also proved that Ian was still in control enough of his emotions not to let his condition show.

Hearing Iggy laugh at Eleanor's jokes during the rest of the meal heightened Mickey’s anger. He still found it hard to believe what he had seen. He could never have imagined his brother betraying him like this, and act as he did.

"I'm sorry I'll have to cut this dinner short, my son is waiting for me to play this stupid game he dares to call football." Mickey said hoping that Ian would use this chance to run away with him.

He still had doubts that Ian was going to follow him rather than stay there and put himself in danger, but he hoped to be wrong.

Fortunately, Ian didn't take long to reply.

"Given the way you talk about it, I guess he plays soccer..."

“Yep! I would have preferred him to play real football, but this kid only does as he pleases! And now he's forcing me to play this stupid game with him. ”

"You know that in almost all countries except ours, soccer is called football? It is a really fun game."

Mickey smiled, thinking of all the times his son had told him the same thing.

"You tell that but you aren't the one forced to play it."

"I wouldn't mind." Ian said laughing.

Mickey immediately turned to Eleanor and questioned.

"Could I borrow him from you for a while to replace me with my son?" It would do me a great service. ”

The hesitation read in the young woman's eyes, but he knew she had no reason to refuse, even after Iggy's warning.

“Don't tell me you can't survive a few hours without him.” Mickey added laughing.

The hesitation left Eleanor's face, quickly replaced by an air of defiance.

"Of course not. You can borrow him for a few hours. ”

Mickey hated the way she was talking about Ian. Like he was nothing more than an object.

However, he displayed a big smile and thanked her.

"Thank you. Shall we wait in the car? ”

Iggy nodded and got up to leave the room.

Mickey greeted Eleanor and followed his brother outside.

They stared at the house for a few minutes in silence, their backs pressed against the car before Ian left, quickly kissing Eleanor and promising to return quickly.

Mickey opened the door for him and he got into the car. He went around the vehicle and went up next to Ian leaving Iggy alone in front.

He waited until the car was far enough from the house to finally speak. 

He hoped that the situation would prevent him from physically attacking his brother. He squeezed Ian's hand tightly to keep from gripping his brother's neck to make him pay for his betrayal.

"You told Eleanor about Ian."

He felt Iggy tense at his words and questioned.

"Why?"

He wanted to give his brother a chance to explain himself, he wanted to understand what made him do it.

Iggy was silent for a few moments staring at the road before peeking at Ian in the rearview mirror and affirming.

"Every time he approached you he made you suffer. He even made Colin killed. ”

His brother's words put Mickey in huge anger, only Ian's hand on his arm prevented him from grabbing Iggy.

He turned to Ian and noticed the sadness in his eyes. Like Iggy, he too seemed to believe Colin was killed by him.

"He didn't kill Colin." Growled Mickey.

"It's his fault if the FBI-"

“The FBI wanted to arrest us long before that! What do you think would have happened if he hadn't been there?!? If they had chosen someone else to get to us?!? No one would have warned us. ”

Mickey felt Ian's pressure on his arm soften until he almost couldn't feel it.

He meant what he said. It had taken him a while but had also realized that Ian had helped them far more than he had endangered them.

They remained silent until the car entered the courtyard and the gate closed behind them.

Iggy parked the car but stayed in his seat, letting Ian and Mickey get out.

He finally got out and stepped forward to face Ian.

Without further ado, he threw his fist into the face of the young Gallagher, sending him to the ground.

"This is for Colin."

Mickey was about to jump on his brother to stop him when Ian got up and signaled him not to intervene.

"I never liked Colin and he never liked me ... But I never wanted him dead." Ian said confidently.

"I never wanted him dead ... But I blamed myself for that ... I know you all loved him, and I hated myself for depriving you of him. I know that I was not the one who pushed him into this ravine, but I also know that I had something to do with it. ”

Mickey wanted to promise Ian he had nothing to do with it, but he knew he had to let the young man speak.

"I wanted to do something for him ... I wanted him to find his family. So I got his ashes back. "

"You did what?!?" Growled Iggy.

"I took Colin's ashes. I've been keeping them safe since I left the military hoping to be able to return them to you. ” Ian said, taking out a bunch of keys from his pocket.

He untied one and handed it to Iggy.

“It's the key to a safe in a downtown bank. This is where the urn is. I always make sure to take it with me, hoping to have the chance to see you again to return them to you… I intended to give them to Svetlana or Mandy so that we don't have to see each other again. ” He explained turning to Mickey.

"But things have changed ..." he added finally, resting his gaze on Iggy.

The young man advanced his hand towards the key held out by Ian and seized the key, trembling.

"Go get Colin." Mickey ordered, approaching his brother.

He stood behind Ian and added.

"I will not soon forget what you tried to do today... But I will pretend I do but only this time! ”

Iggy stared at his brother and whispered a thank you as he took the key given by Ian.

* - * - *

“Mr. Milkovich, I think you have something of mine…”

Mickey looked up from the documents in front of him and tried to do his best to keep a stoic look despite Eleanor's presence in front of him.

Although her voice betrayed her agitation, she seemed completely in control.

Mickey knew very well that this clash should take place sooner or later, however, he didn't expect to see the young woman come directly to find him there.

Few people were aware of the existence of these premises in town, and yet she seemed to have enough contact to discover the locality.

Eleanor walked over to him and pulled the back of the chair across from the desk to sit on it.

Two imposing men stood behind her.

Mickey repositioned himself in an armchair and moved forward enough to grab the butt of the sawn barrel stashed under his desk.

He wasn't afraid to face these men in close combat. He used to fight bigger and stronger than him, but if he could limit their fighting ability, he would.

"May I know what you are talking about?" Mickey asked calmly.

"Ian hasn't come back since he left with you ..."

“I don't see what his absence has to do with me-”

"I went to his apartment, and I met someone very interesting there ... someone who taught me that you had been lovers."

Mickey laughed before regaining control of his body and calmly asserting.

"I don't know who you talked with, but I think he only tried to fool you. I don't know about your friend, but I'm not gay. ”

"Don't try to lie to me!" Eleanor growled out of her.

Mickey laughed louder and got up to face Eleanor.

“I know you are used to have everything you want-”

Eleanore displayed a grimace of disgust and advanced towards Mickey, placing her finger proudly on the latter's chest, cutting him in his tracks.

"Don't try to manipulate me, Milkovich! You are no match for me. You’ll give me back what’s mine, otherwise - ”

"Otherwise what?"

All traces of a smile had left Mickey's lips. He now had a very nervous face and seemed ready to do battle with Eleanor if she got any closer.

"What are you going to do?”

"I'll make you disappear!" She said as if this simple threat was enough to make him falter.

“Try it then. You may think you have allies on your side, but I also have allies and more powerful ones. ”

Satisfied with the doubt that he could now read the face of his enemy, Mickey headed for the exit. He turned to her one last time and added.

“I would be happy to express your concern about the disappearance of your friend to the Ambassador of the United States. I’m having a dinner with him tonight, he’s a good friend of mine. ”

“Do not take me for a novice, Milkovich! I know very well that Walker is not corruptible. If he were, I would have known it a very long time ago.

"Maybe you don't have the bait to attract him... " Answered Mickey amused before leaving the room for good.

Eleanor followed him out, screaming that she would not let it go.

Mickey let her roar, ignoring his brother's presence behind her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey talk about their past and the mistakes they made

“Mandy…”

Ian had just woken up from a far too long nap for his liking, but his new medication kept making him sleepy.

He tried to emerge from the interference as much as possible and took a deep breath when he finally saw Mandy approaching him.

"Ian, you should be in bed."

“I'm not sick, Mandy.”

"You know very well that is not what I mean."

Ian smiled a little and reassured his friend. He knew that Mandy was very worried about the consequences of the events on his illness. Apart from Mickey, she was probably the one who attached the most importance to it, maybe more than Ian himself.

The young man now knew how to recognize the warning signs of his crises, and even if he was sometimes reluctant to see the truth in the face, he still ended up accepting the fact of being sick and having to act accordingly if a new crisis appeared.

He knew Mandy was too worried, but she seemed unstoppable, and she had gotten so used to being worried about him that he would eventually let her go.

"What are you doing? Why is there so much noise in the house? ”

Mandy seemed to hesitate for a moment and Ian preferred to cut her off from thinking rather than risk seeing her remain silent.

"Mandy I know you worry about me, but if you don't tell me anything I'm going to really start to worry."

The young woman bowed her head and took a deep breath before confessing in a low voice.

"Mickey found a way to get you out of Eleanor's reach."

“Mandy I don't want-”

"I know! I know! I promise you it won't be dangerous for him. ”

Mandy looked him intently in the eyes and unable to bear this look Ian turned his head.

Mickey had mentioned the day before the possibility of removing Eleanor from them, and Ian had felt anguish invade him.

Whenever he had been close to Mickey the latter had suffered and he was afraid that this time again he would bring him bad luck.

If he had followed Mickey so far it was because he was simply unable to say no, but he came to regret his decision.

"A while ago Mickey and Svet found some very useful information about the US ambassador, and they decided to use it today... Walker is reputed to be incorruptible, believe me, many have tried. Having him in your camp means having support in the US government. And even if we're in a different country, believe me, it's worth gold. ”

Ian had felt his whole body tremble since Mandy had told him about the US ambassador. He knew that all too well that Mickey was still in the crosshairs of the United States government and that to act so exposed would inevitably put him in danger.

His condition was enough for Mandy to notice him and not to panic anymore.

She tried with all her might to promise Ian that everything would be fine and was in control, but the more the minutes went on, the more Ian felt like he was losing ground.

It was only when he heard Mickey's voice by his side that reality finally reminded him.

Instinctively Ian grabbed the sleeves of Mickey's shirt, preventing him from moving away from him.

“Ian, look at me. Calm down. Everything is fine."

"Why- The Ambassador- He's going-" Mumbled Ian still unable to formulate his thoughts correctly.

"Calm down. Calm down." Gently ordering Mickey, making Ian sit on the floor.

He glanced at Mandy who sketched the room leaving them alone.

“Look me in the eyes, Ian. Look at me."

Ian obeyed gently, almost regretfully, for fear that the feelings that frightened him would be reflected on the face of young Milkovich.

He no longer knew what to think, what to say, what to do. Everything seemed to become irrational. He just wanted to disappear, never to hurt anyone again, especially Mickey.

Ian knew that if he did not recover quickly he would end up in a depressive phase from which he would take a long time to recover, but the memory of all that he had subjected Mickey to gradually erased his rationality, did not leave more than his pain.

Mickey pressed both hands against Ian's cheeks and pulled him to kiss him.

The feel of his mouth against his temporarily pulled Ian out of his tracks, enough for Mickey to plunge his gaze into his and assert calmly.

"Everything will be alright. Eleanor can't hurt us. ”

“Walker -”

“Neither is Walker. Believe me. ”

Ian tilted his head a little to lean a little more firmly against Mickey's hand, savoring the warmth that emanated from it.

"Can you do something for me?"

Ian nodded gently, keeping his gaze fixed on Mickey.

“Stay with me in bed until tonight. Nothing will happen by then and I want to spend this time with you. ”

"You don't want to do it on the cold ground?"

Ian knew his joke was awkward and that none of them really wanted to laugh, but he hoped that he might be able to chase his fears away from him a bit.

"You know very well that I would do it anywhere with you, but this is not what I was talking about when I said that I wanted you to accompany me to bed."

Mickey stood up and held out a hand to Ian who grabbed it. He gently guided him to the bed Ian had left shortly before and helped him to lie down before removing his shoes and joining him.

Ian immediately approached Mickey, drawing him to him and pressing his head to his chest, confessing in a shaky voice.

"Sorry…"

“Sorry for what?”

"I never apologized for abandoning you in front of Terry."

Ian felt Mickey tense up against him and he immediately regretted having pronounced the name of this man whom he would have preferred to forget.

"We were kids back then."

Mickey’s claim caught Ian off guard. He expected Mickey to yell at him, to remind him of what he had suffered through his fault, or in the best of cases that he would remain silent, but especially not that he would forgive him like that.

"Mickey-"

"You did what you had to do back then." Mickey said calmly.

Ian pulled back enough to look him in the eye.

"Mickey, I fled by abandoning you with this monster."

“I too fled. This marriage was a leak- ”

"You had no other choice."

Ian honestly meant what he said. For years he had resented Mickey for having chosen his father over him, but he had now understood that it was not so and that contrary to what he had believed, Mickey had had no choice.

“I had a choice. I could have left, run away with you, try to stop this monster ... But I was afraid. Afraid of what he would do to Mandy if we both left together, afraid of what he would do to you if I left alone, afraid that you would not want to be with me, that you would tire of me and that I lose everything. I was afraid to admit who I was, who I love, afraid to open up to someone and suffer. I abandoned you, out of pure selfishness- ”

"Please don't say that." Begged Ian, placing his hand on Mickey's cheek.

He felt tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Seeing Mickey sad was the worst torture for him.

"You can't blame yourself for that ... Please don't torture yourself anymore with that. I wanted you for that, but not anymore. I know you had no choice. "

Mickey closed his eyes and took a deep breath, lifting the head of the pillow a little to stick it a little more against Ian's hand.

"You say that to make me feel not guilty."

"I say that because that's what I think. If there is a fault here it’s mine. ”

Ian's statement forced Mickey to open his eyes and look into Ian's.

"Ian you did nothing wrong!"

Panic had invaded his face as if he couldn't bear the idea that Ian would blame him for anything.

"I abandoned you when you needed me the most, I sold you to the FBI, because of me Colin-"

Mickey straightened violently, cutting Ian off from his claims.

“Stop lying to yourself. Svetlana has already told me what happened. I know you haven't told the FBI anything. And I also know that if Colin died it was not because of you, but because of the life he led. The life I lead. If there is to be a culprit here it’s me. It was I who left you to obey my father. I was the one who locked you in here and who- Who- ”

Unable to finish his sentence, Mickey looked away. He hated himself for what he had done to Ian and knew that it could never be erased.

Ian also straightened up and forced Mickey to look at him, placing a hand against his cheek.

"Mickey. You never prevented me from leaving. I was the one who decided to stay. I pretended to hate you, I pretended to be there only for the mission that I had been given, but that wasn't true. I wanted to be with you, even if it meant destroying each other. I pretended to hate you, but my heart went crazy every time you looked at me, touched me. "

"Ian I got you-"

“Try to forget. Try to forgive yourself, please. I already did ... "

Ian gently put his lips on Mickey's, stealing a chaste kiss from him.

"That day when you kissed me, the reality that I had forged to explode to pieces. I found the man I fell in love with, and I realized how much I hurt him. Every time I have been near you I have hurt you to the point where I dread staying close to you today. "

“I forbid you to think about that and I forbid you to leave me. I never want to be separated from you again. Understood? I know it will be complicated, that it will be dangerous, as much for me as for you, but I thought I lost you forever, and I never want to suffer this again. It will take time to forgive myself for what I did to you, I promise to try, but in return, I want you to stay. I want you to stay with me until the big mower takes one of us. "

"Is this a marriage proposal?" Timidly asked Ian with a nervous laugh.

"Maybe ... I just need to divorce before." Amused Mickey before adding.

"In this case, we can say that everything that has happened to us so far is part of the worst and that we only have the best for the future ..."

Ian smirked before grabbing Mickey's neck and kissing him passionately, feeling all of his dark thoughts disappear from his mind.

Mickey carried it with him against the mattress, tightening their kiss a little more without trying to go any further.

Ian shifted to look him in the eye.

"I love you." He admitted in a calm and assured voice.

"I love you." Mickey replied before putting his hand against Ian's nape and drawing him to kiss his forehead gently.

“Now you need to rest. We have a party scheduled tonight and I'm going to need you. Do you think you can do it? ”

Ian nodded quickly before settling again comfortably against Mickey and closing his eyes soothed.

* - * - *

“Finally awake sleeping beauty?”

Ian rubbed his eyes, trying to get the last sleep sling out. He felt like his brain was still asleep and he was hallucinating.

Mickey was standing in front of him, smiling at him wearing a magnificent suit.

"Normally, the prince charming wakes the princess with a kiss ..." Ian affirmed hoping that Mickey would take his joke to heart.

"Really?" Mickey simply asked, slowly approaching Ian.

"Really…"

Mickey put his hands on the mattress, on either side of Ian, then placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"Like that?"

"You can do better."

Mickey let out a chuckle, then grabbed Ian’s nape to pull him hard and crush his lips against his before kissing him passionately.

"Better?" He questioned after breaking their kiss.

“Much better yes.”

"In this case, you're going to dress, it's time to go to the princess ball."

Ian just dared a questioning eyebrow, pushing Mickey to give him more explanations.

"We have guests and I need you downstairs with us. Do you think you can do that? ”

Ian watched Mickey sit next to him and put his hand on his.

"Mandy will be with you all the time, and all you have to do is pretend to be with her ... You know like at the beginning before we go out together."

Ian blushed violently when he remembered the first time he had slept with Mickey when he was officially in a relationship with Mandy and the passion that had devoured this secret relationship.

"You can do that? I would do otherwise if you don't feel capable of it- ”

"I can do it."

"Are you sure?"

Ian nodded, trying to sound more convinced than he was.

He knew Mickey wouldn't ask him that if it didn't matter.

He had a little trouble understanding how this comedy could help them, but he wanted to do everything to help Mickey and get out of this dangerous situation.

"Good! I prepared clothes for you. ”

Ian turned his gaze to the end of the bed pointed by Mickey on which was placed a pile of clothing.

"As soon as you are ready, join us downstairs, and pretend to be absolutely, passionately and madly in love with my sister."

* - * - *

Ian readjusted his tie as he left the bedroom and slowly went down the stairs, guided by the sounds coming from the living room.

Everyone turned to him, and he barely had time to recognize Svetlana and Iggy at the back of the room that Mandy was already jumping around his neck.

"You are finally here babe." She minauded before quickly pressing her lips on Ian's.

Again he did not have time to react that the young woman was already dragging him with her to the other occupants of the room.

“Mr. Walker, I present to you Ian Gallagher, my future fiancé.”

“Future fiancé?” Asked the middle-aged man in front of them.

Mandy gave a big smile as he turned his gaze to Ian and grabbed her arm to stick a little more against him.

“We have just met, but marriage seems obvious to us. We want to get married as soon as possible, but do it right. Ian would like to ask my father for my hand... He's a great romantic."

Ian tried his best not to let the slightest hint of amusement escape.

Imagining asking for Mandy's hand from Terry was just ridiculous. The fact that he was now lying 6 feet underground did not help either.

Ian turned to the unknown and asserted with the utmost confidence.

“I can't imagine spending another minute without calling her, my wife.”

"I understand you! With my wife, it was also love at first sight, and we have been together for over 30 years now. Family is the most important. "

"You are right. I also hope that we will soon start our own little family. ” Maliciously affirmed Mandy before adding.

"I really want a baby, my love ... If we hadn't decided to wait after the wedding I think I would have jumped on you tonight."

Ian perceived the dark look that Mickey cast on them and he was certain, Mandy too felt it. However, that did not prevent him from continuing his comedy more beautifully, for the happiness of their guest, thrilled with their love story.

* - * - *

Ian was sitting across from Mickey, with Mandy by his side and trying to appear as natural as possible while his friend had put her hand on his thigh and her brother was busy caressing him with his foot under the table.

Despite these distractions more than present, his mind was as if caught by the woman who broke into the house, quickly followed by two men he had seen more than once.

“Eleanor?”

"Do you know this person?"

Ian turned to Walker before turning his attention back to Mickey, looking for the answer.

The latter nodded discreetly in an almost invisible movement, but that was enough for Ian to understand that he could continue.

"She's a woman I met recently." He finally said, turning back to Walker.

"If I knew what you were, I would never have let you approach! People like you should be locked up! You make me sick."

Eleanor's gaze had shifted from Ian to Walker, whom she now looked at in disgust.

The latter did not seem to appreciate her arrival or the tone she was using.

He stood up to face her.

“Calm down, please. I don't know what prompted you to intervene like this, but I wouldn't accept your ton. ”

"I can talk to you the way I want, and you can't help it. Simply because with what I now know about you you will obey me wisely... I don't think you want me to tell the world what really turns you on. ”

It was not difficult to see that Walker was torn between rage and misunderstanding. Ian himself didn't understand anything Eleanor said.

She turned to him, still surrounded by her two gorillas and displayed a new expression of disgust.

"I know exactly why you approached me. I know everything about your past. If I had known how sick you were, I would never have let you approach! ”

"I don't understand-" Just started Ian before being cut by Eleanor.

"You do not understand?!? It's hilarious! All this time it was you who had secrets playing with me, and now the situation is reversed! It’s almost laughable. ”

Ian felt like he should let Eleanor speak as much as possible.

He felt Mandy's hand rest gently on his arm, reminding her of his presence and cheerfully encouraging him.

"You're crazy."

"Crazy?!? On the contrary, I have never been so lucid. After you left I started to worry so I went to your apartment to find out, and I met someone very interesting there… A certain Tyler, I think you know him. ”

Ian shivered when he heard Tyler's name. He was afraid that all of Mickey’s plan would go to pieces because of his ex. Surprisingly, neither Mandy nor Mickey seemed to react, letting Eleanor continue her crisis.

"I found a way to untie him ... I must say that at the beginning he was not very cooperative. I think, however, I was a little strong because he did not survive our little discussion. Fortunately, he told me everything I wanted to know before. ”

Ian had trouble understanding how she could speak so openly in front of Walker. Especially since Tyler belonged to the American army. 

He was saddened by Tyler's fate, but the dangerousness of the situation quickly made him forget his feelings.

"I'm afraid I misunderstood what you just said." The latter said dryly, interrupting Eleanor in her monologue.

She laughed and then turned to him, looking delighted.

"I'll explain it with simpler words. I tortured him, and he did not survive. ”

The situation was perfectly unreal. Ian had quickly learned at this dinner the importance of Walker and Eleanor could not ignore it. To hear her speak like this before him, admitting her crimes was simply incomprehensible.

"I-"

"What are you going to do?!? Arrested me? I do not think so! Otherwise, your disgusting little secret will be revealed to everyone. You know I learned a lot of things about you. ”

She quickly looked at Iggy. Ian flinched for fear of understanding what was going on, but the pressure of Mandy's hand against his arm forced him to turn to her before he had time to do anything.

She seemed calm and confident.

Eleanor's voice rose again in the air, again drawing Ian's attention to her.

"I understood why I never managed to corrupt you. I never would have thought that you had this kind of perversion... You who advocate marriage and family, you are wallowing in the sights. "

“I don't understand anything you are saying!”

“I know you are gay!” Eleanor growled visibly at the end of his nerves.

Silence settled in the room, quickly replaced by a burst of nervous laughter.

They all turned to Walker, forced to hold their ribs to support his laughter.

“Gay?” He questioned finally when he calmed down.

He looked confident and walked towards Eleanor.

"I don't know what your sources are, but you'd better change it. No one had ever dared to treat me like this! Hint that I can be Gay !?! ”

Ian could feel Walker's contempt in his voice. He had heard it too many times from Terry's and began to tremble at the memory.

"It will be fine." Promised Mandy in a low voice against him.

"I would never accept being compared to these horrors of nature!"

“Don't pretend! I know if Milkovich brought you here tonight it was to corrupt you in exchange for Ian! ”

Eleanor's words left Walker speechless.

“I now know Mickey used Ian as bait. As much for women as for men. And I know my source is viable since it was his brother who told me! ”

Ian held her gaze, reassured by the presence of Mandy and Mickey at his side.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but don't say stupid things like this about me please."

They all turned to Iggy, who had just spoken for the first time.

"I don't know what put you in this state, but I never came to speak to you."

“You don't have to lie! With everything you've told me about Walker and your brother, I have plenty to make them follow my orders, and I won't let them go after you. ” She said with a big smile.

"I think you did not understand what I just said. I never came to see you. And even if I did, I don't see why I would have told you such horrors about Ian or anyone else. I know you find it hard to accept that Ian left you for Mandy, but from there to make up this whole story… ”

Eleanor frantically set her eyes on Ian and Mandy before setting her eyes on Iggy again, unable to understand the situation.

Mandy took a step forward, without letting go of Ian's arm, and fixed her gaze on Eleanor.

"I love Ian, and he loves me. I know the situation can be difficult for you, but I won't let you speak to him like that. ”

When Eleanor gave her the glare, Mandy pretended to be scared and snuggled against Ian's chest, who automatically closed his arms around her as if to protect her.

He still didn't know what was really going on, but if Mandy still wanted him to pretend they were a couple he would be.

“Enough Eleanor. I'm sorry you can't accept reality, but that doesn't give you the right to take it out on my fiancee or our guests. ”

His remark seemed to push Eleanor to extremity who walked towards him looking furious.

Instinctively, Ian pushed Mandy behind him, barring his body between Eleanor and his friend.

"Do you think I'm going to let you get out of this alive after the humiliation you inflicted on me?!? I had no mercy on letting your friend die, I would have no more with you. ”

"You have just confessed to a murder and uttered a death threat before me, I do not know if you are well aware of it ..."

Eleanor sighed long, visibly exasperated.

"Because you think you can report me?!? You are going to help me, and make sure that nobody finds these corpses. Otherwise, I would reveal your secret to everyone! ”

“That I'm gay? Do it! It will surely make people laugh and I could add spreading false rumors to your arrest warrant. ”

"I have proof! Iggy! ”

The two of them turned to Iggy who automatically raised his hands in dementia.

"I have no idea what she talk about. I’ve only seen her once and I don’t see why I’d go tell such horrors! ”

“Listening to you, it seems that everyone is homosexual.” Pointed out Mickey, drawing attention to him.

"Ian, Walker, me... I think you have some issues."

"No! No! I am right! I know I'm right! ” She said, gripping her head violently with both hands as if this brutal gesture could put her mind back in order.

"I know- I'm right- I know-" she stuttered, staring in turn at the people around her.

Walker took his phone out of his pocket and quickly dialed a number.

"What I do know is that you will not get out of it that easily."

Several seconds later, several heavily armed men burst into the room, grabbing Eleanor and her men and knocking them to the ground.

Surely not having foreseen such a reversal of the situation, Eleanor and his men couldn't escape from them.

"If you had done your homework better you would have known that I never move without my security."


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey explains everything to Ian and asks him to leave with him

"What just happened?" Ian questioned as soon as Walker walked through the door.

"You're the one who made that?" He asked, turning to Mickey.

"Iggy did."

Ian turned to the latter who now displayed a shy little smile.

“No need to thank me. I owed you that after I reported you to this crazy lady. ”

Mickey landed on one of the armchairs and displayed a big smile.

“Iggy spoke with Eleanor when she came to my office. I made her understand that I had managed to get Walker on my side. Iggy told her that I intended to use you to gain Walker's favor. It corresponded with your behavior, and with what she had already learned about you, and we didn't give her the time to check it out. Convinced that she had found Walker’s weakness, she had no reason to stay away without taking action. ”

Ian still seemed so disturbed by the situation.

Svetlana approached Mickey and placed a glass on the coffee table in front of him before continuing the explanation.

“Walker is like Terry. He hates gays. He doesn't say it because he wants to keep his job ... He knows he can't let people know. "

Mickey grabbed the glass and emptied it in one go.

“Without knowing it Eleanor insulted him in the worst way. That alone would have been enough to cause her serious wrongs, but I hoped that she would betray herself all the more. Which she did beautifully. ”

"Was it all part of your plan?" Ian asked.

"More or less." Replied Mickey enigmously.

"What about Tyler ...?"

Mickey felt sadness in Ian's voice. He knew that he no longer felt anything for this man, even seeing that he had never felt anything for him, provided that did not prevent him from being touched by his death, or worse, from leaving the belief responsible.

He stood up and quickly joined Ian to take his hand.

"Ian please watch me." He ordered gently, placing his hand under the young man's chin to force him to raise his head.

“You are not responsible for what happened to him. You are not responsible for what others do. These are their decisions, their faults. ”

"But if-"

“Ian! It was not you who killed him. It was not you who forced him to go to your apartment. You understand? It's not your fault."

Ian nodded shyly, but Mickey knew that despite everything he had just told him he would continue to feel guilty.

"We leave tomorrow."

Ian's eyes widened, unable to understand what Mickey had just said.

The latter displayed a big smile and explained calmly.

“I didn't want to run away from Eleanor. I knew we had to get rid of her, somehow to keep her quiet. And even more, I didn't want to run away anymore. Now she won't be able to cause us any more problems ... I want to put this whole story behind us. To put an end to our painful past and to move forward, to start a new life. "

It was easy for Mickey to see that Ian was itching to ask him a question, but feared the answer.

"Will you leave with me?" He asked, hoping to answer Ian's silent question.

The young Gallagher nodded reassuringly at the thought of staying with Mickey.

"So much the better because I already bought your ticket. We're leaving tomorrow for London. ”

"London?!?"

"Yeah, I bought a house there under Yev's name. At first, it was for him when he will be older, but I think we can afford to occupy it a little earlier. ” He explained amused.

Ian smiled even more and Mickey couldn't resist kissing him.

“Hey! Some people don't want to see gay porn here! ” Growled Iggy, pretending to be disgusted.

Mickey stared at his brother defiantly before pulling Ian to him and kissing him again.

* - * - *

Mickey was happy to see that thanks to the support of his therapist and family that he now has on the phone every week, Ian managed to overcome all these events without much difficulty.

His doctor had advised him to one of his colleagues in London, thanks to whom Ian gradually seemed to find his marks perfectly.

They also explained Ian's illness to Yev, who seemed to take his role seriously, watching for the slightest sign of his friend's illness.

Every day Mickey was even more proud of his son, more in love with Ian, and happier that they got along as well.

* - * - *

Mickey quickly moved closer to Ian, stepping between him and his sister to take the young man's hand.

Even if it was not by far the most carnal contact they could have, and that he would deny it if someone else said it, Mickey adored these simple gestures reminding him that he could now show up to Ian without fear.

Ian smiled blissfully as he looked at Mickey.

They arrived to their car too quickly for Mickey’s liking.

Mandy climbed into the back and helped Yev to tie himself up before taking her phone out of his pocket and focusing her concentration on the screen.

Mickey suspected she had recently started dating someone, but he didn't plan on asking her questions until she talked about it herself. He hoped his sister would be as happy as he was with Ian and waited patiently for her to tell him if things got more important.

Or if this guy turned out to be a perfect asshole if he would be happy to make him understand his error.

Mickey hesitated for a moment to get into the car through the passenger seat so as not to let go of Ian's hand but finally resigned himself to the ridicule of this idea.

He smiled when immediately installed, Ian put his hand on his thigh.

The streets were congested and he knew it would take at least twice as long, as usual, to get back. It was the case every match day.

Since moving to London he has accompanied Yev, Mandy, and Ian to the stadium, and even though he still claimed he did not like soccer he finally found an interest in it.

“Who wants a barbecue tonight? With the weather, it would be a crime not to enjoy the terrace. ” Ian laughed as he turned to the back of the vehicle.

Yev raised his arms to heaven, shouting for joy. Since their arrival in England, he seemed much more smiling and happy, much to Mickey's delight. He knew that Yev adored Ian and that he was delighted that he and his father were officially in a relationship.

They stopped on the way to buy food and drink for a regiment before finding Iggy and Svet at home.

"Mum! Tonight it's barbecue! ” Yev shouted as he ran back into the house.

“If you want a barbecue you have to wash the grill.”

Without waiting the young boy will run outside to take care of it.

Svet turned to Mickey, letting Iggy help Ian tidy up the groceries.

She approached her husband and handed him an envelope.

"It arrived today."

Mickey grabbed the envelope and fled into his pocket without trying to open it.

"Thank you."

If it weren't going to draw too much attention to them, Mickey would surely have taken Svetlana in his arms.

"Dad! Help me! I can't do it! ”

Mickey sighed and rolled his eyes when he heard his son calling from outside and finally decided to fly to his aid before he broke anything.

* - * - *

“I swear, the British are fans of the Americans. All you have to do is say you come from the US and they all fall into your arms. ” Said Iggy proud of him.

"I don't think so…"

Mandy let out a little laugh at Mickey's skepticism.

"How else can you explain that he manages to convince women to sleep with him?"

Iggy pretended to be offended by his sister's comment, but nothing seemed enough to taint his good humor.

Mickey felt Ian stick a little more against him. They had started a fire to make the most of the garden despite the cool night, and the young man sat on his lap to hug him.

Yev fell asleep next to his mother, filling each silence with slight snoring.

"How about we go to bed?"

"Already?" Protested Ian.

"Yes already, otherwise you will fall asleep here... Go up!"

Ian reluctantly obeyed and let Mickey drag him to their house after wishing the others good night.

Their property included two houses. One occupied by Svet, Yev, Mandy, and Iggy, and another occupied by Ian and Mickey.

Thanks to the fact that they could all live together while leaving the young couple enough living space.

Mickey watched Ian undress as soon as he entered the front door and wondered if he should let him do it or stop him. 

He wanted to talk to him about something important, and he wasn't sure Ian wanted to be naked for this discussion.

"Can you come with me outside for a moment?"

Ian frowned, disturbed by this proposal when he had just returned. However, he followed him outside.

Mickey made him sit on one of the garden chairs on their terrace and stood in front of him. Only the light of the house-made it possible to discern the silhouettes.

He pressed the remote control he held in his hand and a hundred small lights hidden here and there in the garden and around the terrace came on.

Ian looked around unable to understand what was going on. He turned his attention back to Mickey when the latter began to speak.

"It was never easy between us ... However, it was always obvious to me. I have long sought to hide it, ignore it, repel it, but what is between us is what I always wanted without even daring to say it. ”

Mickey knelt down on one knee and fixed his gaze on Ian's.

"Ian Clayton Gallagher, do you want to marry me?"

“I- I- You are already-”

"I'm not anymore. No more since today. We just received the official papers. You have before you a divorced man who hopes to be married again soon, and this time with you. ” Explained Mickey hoping that Ian would answer him before his knee really started to hurt him.

The young man's silence made him shiver. He had imagined this scene over and over again but never thought about what would happen if Ian said no.

“Ian-”

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Yelled Ian, throwing himself at Mickey's neck, dragging them both to the ground.

He didn't give Mickey time to react and pressed his mouth against his to kiss him passionately.

* - * - *

“I would like to try something…”

Mickey turned his head to Ian lying next to him. After his marriage proposal, which Ian finally accepted, they made passionate love. First on the terrace, then in the living room, on the stairs and finally in the bedroom where they were now.

"Can we try something?"

Ian chewed nervously on his lower lip as if he were looking for the courage to continue.

Mickey put his hand on the young man’s waist and pulled him to kiss him.

"Anything you want ..." Promised Mickey against Ian's mouth.

“I would- I would like to- I-”

"Ian I promise, you can ask me anything."

“I would like to exchange our roles- Finally I mean- You know-”

Mickey could see Ian's cheek red.

They hadn't done anything like that since Mickey thought Ian was dead.

He had thought about it more than once, but only during the long hours, he hated himself for what he had done to Ian.

He never imagined that the young man would bring up this subject in this way.

Panic could be read on his face, and quickly Ian approached him and put his hand on his cheek.

"Mickey, please don't think about the past. You promised me that you wouldn't blame yourself for that anymore ... If I'm asking it today, it's in particular to erase all these memories. I want to share everything with you, entirely. And it's something I want to share with you. I know the last time- It's not like the last time. And I promise you this is something I really want ... Please. "

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you- ”Stammered Mickey, looking away.

“Mickey, look at me. Look at me, please. I trust you more than anyone. And I love you."

Mickey pressed his lips to Ian's before forcing him to lengthen and climb on top of him.

"I love you." He said in return.

Ian displayed a big smile and put his hand on Mickey's thigh, gently stroking his skin.

"I won't do anything until I'm sure it won't hurt you." Promised Mickey with conviction.

He went down between Ian's legs who immediately turned around and tugged against the headboard to give Mickey better access.

This time he was not afraid to let Mickey see the state in which he was putting him, but feared that seeing him at work he would not be able to last very long.

Mickey grabbed one of Ian's thighs and placed his free hand on his ass, gently sliding his hand over it, slowly inserting it between his buttocks before removing it again.

He pressed his hand a little more against Ian's buttock, giving him perfect access to his entrance and put his lips there. He parted his mouth and made his tongue dance against Ian's tight skin, snatching a groan from him.

“Stop teasing!” Growled Ian, his face buried in the pillow.

Rather than obey, Mickey intensified his caresses, gradually plunging his tongue into Ian before retiring.

"Mickey please ..."

Ian's pleas echoed throughout the room, echoing the erection that Mickey could feel between the young man's legs. He was very careful not to touch it, despite the temptation, desperately wanting to make Ian feel what he made him feel himself.

He continued to tease Ian until he felt him relax against him and grabbed the bottle of lubricant on the coffee table. He led several fingers and used them to replace his tongue, gently bringing them in and out of Ian until the room was completely filled with moans.

Only his name still managed to get out of Ian's mouth, visibly unable to say another word.

"I think you're almost ready."

“Please- Mickey- Please-”

Unable to endure this spectacle any longer, Mickey withdrew his fingers and positioned himself against Ian.

He slowly inserted into him, savoring each sensation, etching in his memory every second of that moment.

When he heard Ian groan under him he understood that he had just found that precise point he was looking for and took a malicious pleasure in banging, again and again, against his prostate until neither he nor Ian was able to think correctly and come inside him, quickly followed by Ian who spilled on the bed.

Mickey crashed on the mattress next to Ian out of breath.

“I love you, Ian Gallagher.” He confessed again before kissing him.

“I love you, Mickey Milkovich.”


End file.
